Indeed it was my first time, as usual i was scared stiff of the test awaiting me. She was punctual, actually she arrived thirty minutes earlier. I could not believe that i had finally made this decision. It had troubled me for years, i fought with my conscious for a while. All my friends had done it and it was kind of feeling embarrassed that i was the only one left. I could not brag of being a man as i was the only one, left out.
She looked directly to my eyes, i sighed with relief,i held a deep breath and gathered enough courage to look back at her. My eyes could not hide the fear in me, i could not believe that she was this courageous. Her glimpse, her gait composure, and the suave and calm appearance in her made me to bite my lower lip. We had not talked to each other as she could notice my entire body looked terror stricken. At last she opened her mouth, i did not notice she was talking to me as i had concentrated on her lipstick that looked mouth-watering. "Are you ready we start", she finally blurted out. With a whisper i finally said, "yes i am." What startled me to bones was the condition she gave me, "make sure that your phone is off."
I did not argue as it was my first time. She also told me to make sure i have undivided attention in whatever we were doing. I had not talked to her this time as i opened my eyes widely to see and learn everything. She also told me to spread my legs and it was finally the time to remove it. I stretched my hands slowly and swiftly downwards, I entered into my trouser and removed it waiting to insert. At this time i gathered courage to ask what i should do. She comfortably told me hold on tight to the steering wheel. I removed the car key from my trouser's pocket and i was ready to insert it in the ignition hole. She had told me to spread my legs so that i can learn on how to pedal. It was indeed my first time learning how to drive and i was really scared. But the lady was very eager to teach me..
For any rotten mind out there, have a blessed Sunday.
BAKE Tracker
Sunday, 3 May 2015
Monday, 27 April 2015
Duties Ignite
(Phone rings persistently)…..
Hello, hello hel..hello..hellloooo (phone hangs up)
It is past midnight
My dreams are about to ignite
For I was going to enjoy my night
Rest until the morning bright
Owe unto my poor soul
They cannot allow me to fall
With these disturbing calls
But now they stopped
Then my sleep wouldn’t stop
(Phone rings again)
Oh my dear sleep
I cannot fall deep
And at least take a nap
Without going to double tap
My phone with a slap
Then I get a message
That people need salvage
Because they are under a passage
I have to leave my sweet bed
And my duties I have to attend
For this is the trend
For my boss to recommend
I put on my attire
With an undivided desire
For my duties burn like fire
And binding like a wire
From my room I retire
It is our common duty
To render our services
Each minute of the hour
In spite of the challenges
LIFE SKILLS BEGINS
The Chronicles continues...
For those who followed keenly my adventure in Huruma "slum" (people from there call it an estate) after my abrupt departure from the comfy hostel know that life has a beginning point.
After cleaning the room for an entire one and half hours, i was convinced that it was habitable for a human being to stay in it. Not any person could have slept in that room as it contained dirt that seemed to form a sand dune inside. The windows were marred with cobwebs, the painting on the walls had already vanished, and the floor had holes. Omo says dirt is good but i highly doubt. Cleaning the room consumed around 50 liters of water and it did not sparkle. The environment was not conducive for any human but my circumstances did not give me an option. I spread my old, dirty mattress down and laid to rest. Just before i could fall asleep, a loud groan attacked my stomach with a large pain that stabbed me like a sharp knife. That is when i remembered i had not eaten and rushed out to look for something to eat.
Huruma can be compared to a shopping mall or a hypermarket because everything is under one roof just like Nakumatt. Chapos, madondos, muturas, chips, and home made pizzas were among the delicacies found in the streets. I pulled out my few coins from the pocket and purchased some chapatis and beans which were ready for consumption. Without any other business, i jetted back to the house whistling as i fantasized with my meal. Just fifty yards before i reached our apartments, i felt a large slap on my face that blinded me for some minutes. My neck was choked by a humongous hand that left me gasping for air in desperation. My entire body became frail and weak and i released my packed supper spilling the beans to the ground. Before i could realize what had happened, my pockets were empty as they had snatched my phone and wallet. My body was in great pain and all i could think of was returning back upcountry. My eyes were flooded with tears as the heart bore a heavy pain of hatred and confusion.
I gathered myself and rose from the ground. I walked slowly towards the ground feeling broken. I was a stranger in Huruma and my phone had been stolen. I wish Sonko Rescue Team existed by that time as it could have offered me solace. I was angered with everyone, and everything as my afflictions pricked inside my soul just like a sharp, hot needle through a human flesh. I threw myself on the mattress and started thinking deeply. Why was all this happening to me? Was i being punished for my sins or was Nairobi's life always like this.
Miraculously i started dozing off, my eyes glued to each other gradually and i was soon falling into a slumber. This was the only way of forgetting my tribulations, but it did not last for long. I felt an itchy bite on my skin that left me scratching my skin aggressively. The bites continued for a while until i could not sleep anymore. That is when i realized that the second hand mattress i had purchased was infested with bedbugs. I could not sleep any further, bearing in mind i was nursing pain from the muggers. Bedbug bites are so ruthless that a person leaves the bed screaming. They are so quick and they come in a colony. Ironically, they infest when a person is a sleep. I could not lay anymore and i had to spend the rest of the night standing. One night stand.
For those who followed keenly my adventure in Huruma "slum" (people from there call it an estate) after my abrupt departure from the comfy hostel know that life has a beginning point.
After cleaning the room for an entire one and half hours, i was convinced that it was habitable for a human being to stay in it. Not any person could have slept in that room as it contained dirt that seemed to form a sand dune inside. The windows were marred with cobwebs, the painting on the walls had already vanished, and the floor had holes. Omo says dirt is good but i highly doubt. Cleaning the room consumed around 50 liters of water and it did not sparkle. The environment was not conducive for any human but my circumstances did not give me an option. I spread my old, dirty mattress down and laid to rest. Just before i could fall asleep, a loud groan attacked my stomach with a large pain that stabbed me like a sharp knife. That is when i remembered i had not eaten and rushed out to look for something to eat.
Huruma can be compared to a shopping mall or a hypermarket because everything is under one roof just like Nakumatt. Chapos, madondos, muturas, chips, and home made pizzas were among the delicacies found in the streets. I pulled out my few coins from the pocket and purchased some chapatis and beans which were ready for consumption. Without any other business, i jetted back to the house whistling as i fantasized with my meal. Just fifty yards before i reached our apartments, i felt a large slap on my face that blinded me for some minutes. My neck was choked by a humongous hand that left me gasping for air in desperation. My entire body became frail and weak and i released my packed supper spilling the beans to the ground. Before i could realize what had happened, my pockets were empty as they had snatched my phone and wallet. My body was in great pain and all i could think of was returning back upcountry. My eyes were flooded with tears as the heart bore a heavy pain of hatred and confusion.
I gathered myself and rose from the ground. I walked slowly towards the ground feeling broken. I was a stranger in Huruma and my phone had been stolen. I wish Sonko Rescue Team existed by that time as it could have offered me solace. I was angered with everyone, and everything as my afflictions pricked inside my soul just like a sharp, hot needle through a human flesh. I threw myself on the mattress and started thinking deeply. Why was all this happening to me? Was i being punished for my sins or was Nairobi's life always like this.
Miraculously i started dozing off, my eyes glued to each other gradually and i was soon falling into a slumber. This was the only way of forgetting my tribulations, but it did not last for long. I felt an itchy bite on my skin that left me scratching my skin aggressively. The bites continued for a while until i could not sleep anymore. That is when i realized that the second hand mattress i had purchased was infested with bedbugs. I could not sleep any further, bearing in mind i was nursing pain from the muggers. Bedbug bites are so ruthless that a person leaves the bed screaming. They are so quick and they come in a colony. Ironically, they infest when a person is a sleep. I could not lay anymore and i had to spend the rest of the night standing. One night stand.
Friday, 24 April 2015
A LETTER TO BOB COLLYMORE
If you are a SAFARICOM mobile subscriber, then you are living in an abusive relationship
Safaricom is the largest network carrier in Kenya controlling the largest market share and providing an array of products and services. Allegedly, the mobile network is seeking for a licence to launch a TV cable network. The company has made numerous discoveries that have become inevitable in the day-to-day lives of many Kenyans such as M-pesa among others. It has the best and beneficial CSR such as the Kenya for Kenya initiative which pulled Kenyans together in helping the hunger stricken areas. Additionally, without safaricom our artists could be still wandering on the streets selling their DVD's but it saved them these agonies through "Skiza tunes" and numerous concerts.
However, Safaricom has totally taken advantage of their monopoly and the control of the market irregardless of the regulations.To begin with, it offers the most expensive rates among all the mobile networks in Kenya. One would ask why don't we ditch it and switch to another network but M-pesa is a basic need in our country. It is better than Wi-Fi, Pizza, and second from beer. We pay all our bills via the service from power, water, fees, shopping, banking, and even money transfer services. Secondly, Safaricom inconveniences their customers at will. With the high number of people using this network, it is unethical to wake up one morning and the services are not working just like the 24th of April 2015, yesterday. Just imagine of a traveler who was in Eldoret, he is a total stranger and was loaded with cash in M-pesa as bus fare and for consumption. He immediately turned to be a beggar and a confused fellow after the systems went down. Think of a cousin from Bungoma who had come to Nairobi to visit his uncle for the first time. Upon arriving the famous Machakos Bus Terminus, the mobile services went down, he just remained stranded. I think Boniface Mwangi yyou should rally all the affected victims to Safaricom house chanting #RudishaM-pesaGermany.
Thirdly, internet is becoming an essential thing in this country as we check our social sites, emails, and blog from any point of the country. Safaricom internet is soon appearing among the FORBES 100 most expensive things. Owning a monthly subscription is similar to going for a vacation in Zanzibar or Madagascar. They give promotions but they are full of restrictions, limitations and promotional data is the slowest. I wonder why they have to award you and ensure that it is the slowest. Safaricom at some point wishes to act as the regulator that can limit the number of subscribers in the country referring to the Equitel saga.
All in all, with those fundamental issues among other zillion complains known by the consumer, Safaricom still commands the market. We can fuel with M-pesa even if the petrol stations cautions us against using mobile phones in the perimeter. Any moment you wish to quit the network, it coins a new invention such as Okoa Stima and now drunks are campaigning for Okoa Pombe. I just feel someone somewhere needs to up his/her game and know that the customer is ALWAYS right!!!!!
Bwana Bob, as your name suggests, let the rates drop to one shilling, internet should be cheaper and efficient. Efficiency is an integral thing is a service provider organization.
Safaricom is the largest network carrier in Kenya controlling the largest market share and providing an array of products and services. Allegedly, the mobile network is seeking for a licence to launch a TV cable network. The company has made numerous discoveries that have become inevitable in the day-to-day lives of many Kenyans such as M-pesa among others. It has the best and beneficial CSR such as the Kenya for Kenya initiative which pulled Kenyans together in helping the hunger stricken areas. Additionally, without safaricom our artists could be still wandering on the streets selling their DVD's but it saved them these agonies through "Skiza tunes" and numerous concerts.
However, Safaricom has totally taken advantage of their monopoly and the control of the market irregardless of the regulations.To begin with, it offers the most expensive rates among all the mobile networks in Kenya. One would ask why don't we ditch it and switch to another network but M-pesa is a basic need in our country. It is better than Wi-Fi, Pizza, and second from beer. We pay all our bills via the service from power, water, fees, shopping, banking, and even money transfer services. Secondly, Safaricom inconveniences their customers at will. With the high number of people using this network, it is unethical to wake up one morning and the services are not working just like the 24th of April 2015, yesterday. Just imagine of a traveler who was in Eldoret, he is a total stranger and was loaded with cash in M-pesa as bus fare and for consumption. He immediately turned to be a beggar and a confused fellow after the systems went down. Think of a cousin from Bungoma who had come to Nairobi to visit his uncle for the first time. Upon arriving the famous Machakos Bus Terminus, the mobile services went down, he just remained stranded. I think Boniface Mwangi yyou should rally all the affected victims to Safaricom house chanting #RudishaM-pesaGermany.
Thirdly, internet is becoming an essential thing in this country as we check our social sites, emails, and blog from any point of the country. Safaricom internet is soon appearing among the FORBES 100 most expensive things. Owning a monthly subscription is similar to going for a vacation in Zanzibar or Madagascar. They give promotions but they are full of restrictions, limitations and promotional data is the slowest. I wonder why they have to award you and ensure that it is the slowest. Safaricom at some point wishes to act as the regulator that can limit the number of subscribers in the country referring to the Equitel saga.
All in all, with those fundamental issues among other zillion complains known by the consumer, Safaricom still commands the market. We can fuel with M-pesa even if the petrol stations cautions us against using mobile phones in the perimeter. Any moment you wish to quit the network, it coins a new invention such as Okoa Stima and now drunks are campaigning for Okoa Pombe. I just feel someone somewhere needs to up his/her game and know that the customer is ALWAYS right!!!!!
Bwana Bob, as your name suggests, let the rates drop to one shilling, internet should be cheaper and efficient. Efficiency is an integral thing is a service provider organization.
Tuesday, 21 April 2015
HOW A LADY MADE ME A PARENT WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING HER...The Chronicles.
The Christian's Holy Book narrates of how their savior Jesus Christ came to being. It is an obvious story of how a virgin got pregnant and bore a son who later became the world's savior. I believed in that because my faith allows me to, but i have first hand information of becoming a parent without siring or even knowing its mother.
It was around 6:30 in the evening as we sluggishly strolled along moi avenue after the classes were over. There was hue and cry in the busy noisy town as "Makangas"/touts were heard screaming for you at a distance to board their matatu. If at all you are new to Nairobi, this is the worst time to travel as the city is congested and the traffic jam resembles a colony of ants when migrating. The situation becomes even worse when you are suffering from financial drought because the bus fares are hiked and exaggerated. As a result, we were forced to waste as much time as possible to allow the traffic to ease and the fare to go down. The reflecting Kenya Cinema window panes became a favorite joint for ladies to go and view whether their bums are growing and if they had properly applied make-up. Who does that? Applying make-up at night and your going to board a matatu and go home, why become beautiful at this hour.
As we continued walking lazily, we found ourselves segmented into groups of two, three, and even five individuals. Each group was discussing their topic of interests such as college politics, girlfriends, alcohol, and i bet none was discussing educational matters. I found myself glued to my mobile device as i tried to send a text message to someone asking whether he could give me a loan of at least 500 shillings. The economic situation was that bad.
A swift, attracting, and ear catching voice asked to be excused. It belonged to a woman and i knew this was my chance to sweep an opportunity head over her heels. Without lifting my face from my phone, i said "yes please." Why would a stranger stop me, but since we were a group of students, i was not moved an inch. "Can you please hold her for me i want to withdraw money from an M-pesa Agent." I agreed vehemently without holding my thoughts even for a second. With my "kiherehere (excitement) I started stopping other students to see my new found bundle of joy.
Everyone was teasing, throwing the beautiful girl up and smiling at her. The baby was so beautiful to avoid her. I felt a zealous and emphatic connection with the child that i could see myself as a parent. The feeling did not last long when one of my classmates asked who its mother was. I bravely pointed at the M-pesa agent where she had entered to withdraw money. "Guys, it was a trap." The agent was completely empty other than the retailer. I moved my eyes quickly trying to locate her but she was nowhere to be found. Now there was a problem, a really huge problem. I tried to convince myself that the lady had entered another shop and she will be back in a few. Oh my goodness, after five minutes the script read from the same page. My classmates started departing one by one and it was so clear that this was my problem alone to handle.
I sat quietly on the municipal council structured seats in a whirl of deep thoughts. I heard my phone ring but i was not in the mood of checking it out. I forcefully removed it from the pocket hoping it was the baby's mother but the 500 i had borrowed had be channeled via mobile banking. This is the first time i received money and i did not celebrate even just giggling. I was between the famous rock and hard place as i fathomed what i was to do next.
That is how i became a parent without approaching any lady bodily or going through an adoption. My first year in college was full of misery. Please send me money via my phone number as i am still thinking of how to become a real father. The chronicles...
It was around 6:30 in the evening as we sluggishly strolled along moi avenue after the classes were over. There was hue and cry in the busy noisy town as "Makangas"/touts were heard screaming for you at a distance to board their matatu. If at all you are new to Nairobi, this is the worst time to travel as the city is congested and the traffic jam resembles a colony of ants when migrating. The situation becomes even worse when you are suffering from financial drought because the bus fares are hiked and exaggerated. As a result, we were forced to waste as much time as possible to allow the traffic to ease and the fare to go down. The reflecting Kenya Cinema window panes became a favorite joint for ladies to go and view whether their bums are growing and if they had properly applied make-up. Who does that? Applying make-up at night and your going to board a matatu and go home, why become beautiful at this hour.
As we continued walking lazily, we found ourselves segmented into groups of two, three, and even five individuals. Each group was discussing their topic of interests such as college politics, girlfriends, alcohol, and i bet none was discussing educational matters. I found myself glued to my mobile device as i tried to send a text message to someone asking whether he could give me a loan of at least 500 shillings. The economic situation was that bad.
A swift, attracting, and ear catching voice asked to be excused. It belonged to a woman and i knew this was my chance to sweep an opportunity head over her heels. Without lifting my face from my phone, i said "yes please." Why would a stranger stop me, but since we were a group of students, i was not moved an inch. "Can you please hold her for me i want to withdraw money from an M-pesa Agent." I agreed vehemently without holding my thoughts even for a second. With my "kiherehere (excitement) I started stopping other students to see my new found bundle of joy.
Everyone was teasing, throwing the beautiful girl up and smiling at her. The baby was so beautiful to avoid her. I felt a zealous and emphatic connection with the child that i could see myself as a parent. The feeling did not last long when one of my classmates asked who its mother was. I bravely pointed at the M-pesa agent where she had entered to withdraw money. "Guys, it was a trap." The agent was completely empty other than the retailer. I moved my eyes quickly trying to locate her but she was nowhere to be found. Now there was a problem, a really huge problem. I tried to convince myself that the lady had entered another shop and she will be back in a few. Oh my goodness, after five minutes the script read from the same page. My classmates started departing one by one and it was so clear that this was my problem alone to handle.
I sat quietly on the municipal council structured seats in a whirl of deep thoughts. I heard my phone ring but i was not in the mood of checking it out. I forcefully removed it from the pocket hoping it was the baby's mother but the 500 i had borrowed had be channeled via mobile banking. This is the first time i received money and i did not celebrate even just giggling. I was between the famous rock and hard place as i fathomed what i was to do next.
That is how i became a parent without approaching any lady bodily or going through an adoption. My first year in college was full of misery. Please send me money via my phone number as i am still thinking of how to become a real father. The chronicles...
HYPE OF LIFE....The Poetic Chronicles
Off my face i wipe
But my page i swipe
Key by key i type
From Fb to skype
Of my belated hype
But my page i swipe
Key by key i type
From Fb to skype
Of my belated hype
My realism
Hidden in my organism
Fearing criticism
My feelings live in nomadism
My will in activism
Hidden in my organism
Fearing criticism
My feelings live in nomadism
My will in activism
I post a series of selfies
Of how i have a cutting edge life
Of how i love my twenties
Of how i have a lovely wife
Of how i hang out at wendies
Of how my life will thrive
Of how i have a cutting edge life
Of how i love my twenties
Of how i have a lovely wife
Of how i hang out at wendies
Of how my life will thrive
But
The flip side
The opposite
When you toss the coin
When i am not swiping
When i am not typing
When i am not skyping
Is my life hyping?
The flip side
The opposite
When you toss the coin
When i am not swiping
When i am not typing
When i am not skyping
Is my life hyping?
Its full of lies
The real life lies
Outside there are cries
Stop hyping on social media
And real life....
Is full of sorrows
The real life lies
Outside there are cries
Stop hyping on social media
And real life....
Is full of sorrows
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