Free Sms are tarnishing our intelligence making us look like clowns or mascots who have nothing to do, but to stare at their phones as if they are worshiping them. I find it funny how i seat with an extremely beautiful lady who can qualify to become Miss Uganda for nine consecutive years and i have nothing to say to her, even a simple hi. Reasons being, she is busy, not that she is washing utensils, completing assignments, arranging her work schedule or anything substantial, but staring at her phone like a nincompoop. When i talk of Sms i also include Watsapp, Viber, and the others. Please Note: they are not bad, the users are...
Today there no stories but real life observations that i have made (the free Sms were not introduced when i was a fresha one Sms costed 3 bob, so you can imagine). Technology has made us strangers because we are using it wrong, actually very wrong. Take this incidence for example, my cousin comes to visit all the way from upcountry, after ushering him in the house, i pick my laptop and my phone then go numb, it is a bad behavior.
When i said no stories, I lied! My friend has left our ribs aching by an incidence that made him jilt his relationship and hate all girls, huh. "Guys, guys look look at her see for yourself, she Watsapped me her image", he jabbed at us interrupting our tranquil moment on the torn second-hand sofas in our congested unfinished 1 bedroom in Roysambu with a parked blue Subaru outside (that is how Njoki Chege defines poor guys, for me i wish i would achieve this and my village would name as Njuri Ncheke member). If you don't follow Nairobi rumors, probably that joke isn't yours.
We tilted our faces concurrently as if we were evading a foul smell of fart from a skunk, to see the "magnificent girl." It is hard for me to appreciate girls, but for this one, she was blessed. We continued working on our laptops and exchanging mature talks of how one day we will buy a plot at Ruai (even wet dreams are valid). All that long our friend was tilted like a bow or the fishing rod just scrolling and replying to messages on his phone. it continued for hours, days, weeks,,, until he entered the, the most populated country after China and India, friend-zone. This is how...
Sms and Watsapp lie, a girl will promise you anything, create a scenario that will make you feel like you are the only man in a world of beautiful women and dogs. Ladies will pretend to be in your "box" by pampering you with sweat, romantic and sexy words, i hear they call it "sexting." For my friend, he was even given the cookie jar via text, they kissed, they cuddled, they undressed, they bedded, they visited each other's parents; however, through the texts. The relationship was growing strong that he could mistake my name with that girls name you know Vinnie and Winnie are related. His phone never left his hand even when he went to the bathroom, but he always told us when that girl will visit our lips will soak with saliva. We will be so jelous that we wish we concetrated on smsand watsapp than our work (what a fool).
"hayawi hayawi huwa" it was time for the love birds to meet physically, eye to eye, lip to lip, nail to nail, time to panda mbegu until potassium permanganate turns red, if you know what i mean. Feeling of ecstasy, mind preparations, spreading the bed and cleaning the house, preparing mayai for the requisite energy and going to the chemist to purchase the protective gear for this business, awaiting the guest of honor to arrive at around midday.
First mistake, she arrived at three, second mistake she was full and could not take what the guy had prepared. Ladies what do you take us for, for a man to cook it takes inspiration from the ancestors and then you shamelessly refuse to eat, God help you. She was introduced to the lonely ninjas as we were just sitting there salivating at her endorsed derriere. As ussual, we started leaving so that we can give them privacy, but she said "acheni kuenda natoka sa hii and if at all ningekaa hakuna kitu ingehapen so rudini." Let me stop at that...
free sms are promising you the moon up in the sky whereas they cant afford Bluemoon which is only at the counter. My fellow freshas, this is real, run boy run when there is time.
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