Nappy Girl
It was just another cold Saturday afternoon, the traffic jam at Nairobi was easing up as the cars gushed in an admirable manner in well construed lanes. Touts' shouts echoed in my ear drums as the ear lobes froze due to the calm breeze that was flooding the atmosphere, making it very chilly. I wore a black trench coat and tucked my hands inside the pockets. "Boys are like wild animals, they travel in herds" that is my own composed proverb as it applied that day. We were around ten young energetic lads who were shouting on top of their voices in what seemed to be an argument about an iniquitous issue.
I was unusually quiet, everybody kept asking me whether i was okay because they were used to my extroverted nature. Something was really becoming a pain in the a..as..ah...arsenal. On normal occasions, i am usually indulged in such heated debate on which team will bag the English Premier league. However, on this day, i was cool, calm, and collected, i played a audience to nine-noisy college boys (you don't know how stressful it is).
Frank had made my evening to be such a living hell. He had sort the company of one of his best friends who had made my teeth to grind and hands shake in despair. He had brought a nappy girl. In such incidences, when a guy brings a lady friend who he has no attachment to, it means she is up for grabs. I only looked at her from the corner of my eye, her nappy-curled hair that swung like a horse pony tail just reflected on the pupil of my eye. She was shinning bright on the silver lining of the setting sun on the horizon. Her lipstick was jaw-dropping for what i would call, wet-lips. From her composure and unresponsive nature to my friend's inquiries, it was right to infer that she was bored; actually, very bored. They were only discussing matters football leaving her out in almost everything.
I managed to look at her once again; coincidentally, our eyes met, her dimples automatically formed an admirable cave on her chubby cheeks while her eyebrows curved upwards and wrinkles formed on her forehead. She looked lovely, she was beautiful-the least i could say. Her sense of fashion was well thought based on the cold evening weather. She looked confident and mature enough, but her persistent gaze at me sent my meta-cognition into task. Was she disgusted with my quiet nature, had i shown a grotesque appearance or was she thinking i was among the pick pockets in town? Never mind, i consoled myself, but she was so meticulous about my every move.
The first reaction a man gets after being strolled by a lady who looks of a class beyond him is fear(i bet you have all watched Gods Must be Crazy, the guy in green land-rover).
As i was thinking of my first move, she stroke first; you are so quite, are you worried that your team will loose? I went numb for some seconds as i tried to figure out for the most suitable answer to this beautiful and well-behaved lady. "Raise your arms for security check", the bouncer blurted out in a horrific voice. We had already reached our destination, the club. I had not answered the question and my mind was really troubled. I only imagined the smell of her perfume that had brought a nonchalant fragrance in the surrounding environment making all the individuals present to turn their heads in admiration. Everybody in our company wanted to seat with her, but she choose to sit with the frail me.
"You look so scared and you have not answered my question", she said as we took our seats. "Does she know who i am", i thought to my self. It was time to bring my A-game and rise to the occasion. As i was composing my best pick-up lines (you look familiar), I received a text from Frank telling me that the lady-friend had fallen for me. What???????!!!! she had already told Frank? We started with the normal introductions and i maintained my somber mood as a judge. I was so composed that you would surmise i am a lawyer or in other respected career. The entire club started making noise instantly, the game had already started. I immediately turned my head to the screen as the lady kept talking to me.
Balancing my attention to the girl and the game was proving to be tasking. I went to an extent of saying yes to questions that required a no answer. I completely changed my seating posture and staid glued to the screen screaming like a hungry brat. The lady on the other side became bored and kept on tapping me to seek my attention-ladies love attention, huh? I could not allow my self to loose this intense moments as the bullet-less Arsenal guns were firing high at the cradle of football in England, the Stamford bridge.
The lady visited the lavatories a million times, she tapped her phone till it run out of charge, she yawned, stretched, switched seats, but i did nothing. I could not manage to look at her and miss the tik taka game played by Arsenal yet it was yielding no goals. The worse happened when the lady wanted to leave as the game continued, she asked for my number so that we can communicate later. I was so attached to the game that i thought she was referring to the number of goals scored. I confidently answered zero-zero. The lady slammed the table, lashed her tongue, snapped her fingers and clicked loudly as she swerve her nappy hair showing disgust in all her face. She left in a hasty manner and later sent Frank a text message, that guy is a jackass, he will get married to football. That is how i lost my melodious chance of dating a beautiful lady. The worst bit is that Arsenal hammered Chelsea 5-3. It was just another sad day.
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Anyway, the football season is coming to a close and i know women are now relieved. They will be spending the entire weekend cuddled to their husbands as they will be not be having places to visit. Moreso, there is no nagging discussion with their friends about how they will take the league. No more betting 20,000 on Sport-Pesa and leaving 2,000 at home. All in all, Chelsea are the champions!!!!
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