Women its a Body Spray NOT an Air Freshner

The Merriam Webster Online Dictionary defines a body spray as a scented perfume product meant to be sprayed on the body, period. Underline the words meant for the body, Women kindly revisit your dictionaries when using these products. I am tired of entering a Matatu and you have to keep the window open even when its raining. 

Yesterday i went to church and our pastor thought i was very attentive based on my consistent nodding. No i was not; actually, i was in hell literally, suffocating and crying out for breath like Jordan Spark. My day started all badly with a drawer hitting my toes striking pain across my nerve system. I wonder why a toe would make even my ears feel pain, anyway, it was a problem even fitting my feet in my closed shoes as Sandals cannot work in this weather. All along the way i walked as if i had undergone the ritual of circumcision a few hours ago. My face was pale with wrinkles as i struggled to walk in pain. Needless to say, attending a church service is quite important to me so  I had to go. My problem was half solved when the Church leader talked of receiving a blessing of healing by the end of the service. But before then...

.....a humongous fatty looking woman swung her newly acquired Kitenge from  Dubai (that is a shop in Eastleigh) entered and fixed herself just next to me. I maintained a nonchalant appearance despite the fact that her size squeezed me out of the seat until i looked like i was performing the act of egestion in the loo,  I know you understand the look am talking about. That did not bother me much as i have sat severally with huge people in Matatus who make you feel like you will request for a refund from the tout as you are literally not seated. Anyway, after she comforted herself at the expense of my seat plus hers, my nostrils started panting vehemently. Something was amuse.

I guess this woman had used an entire body spray container on herself just for one day. Her smell was burning right in my nose and i could feel the hairs found in the nose drop off. They were being burnt by the heavy scent from this woman. I decided to pretend but not for long. Imagine it was raining and i requested the usher to put on the air conditioner. I could see people seated around  look at her with a suspicious face folding their noses. I was in deep pain, my toes are in pain, she has squeezed me out of my seat almost blowing me up into pieces like a popcorn, and now her fragrance can't be tolerated. I formulated a new way of breathing by maintaining my mouth open with the nose closed but it could not work for long. I tried to sneeze but i was afraid of removing some droplets from my nostrils. I tried to reach my handkerchief but her body couldn't let my hand reach my pocket. It was a sad moment for me, i had to leave before the sermon was over....

and sit in a new place.

Ladies use your deodorants wisely, let the person hugging you feel it and not the entire estate.