FRESH"A" in campus

as i walked in
my mind was so fresh
i met the dean
with an appealing breath
i was admitted in
my body was in a good health
my mind passionate
ready to eradicate
poverty in my village
its the first year
fresh in campus


my mind and books
are new parallel lines
reading is off the hook
oh! that lady is fine
in town, there is booze
and new blended wine
my body is growing thin
my mind is becoming stressed
i avoid the dean
with a foul breath
and bad health
its the last year
not fresh in campus

"Chronicles of a fresha" SHE WANTS TO REVENGE GUYS.....

It has been long since i penned down the most intriguing column "Chronicles of Fresha" and here i am again....
bringing you part...part mmh, by the ways what part did we finish with 3, 4, or...part..argh!!! i cant remember. Never mind, just sit down and grab popcorns as you watch this thriller/action/drama movie in the theater of dreams (that is your mind).

Previously on chronicles of a fresha (with that sound of the prison break),,,
 "Babe, what will you take?" she whispered.

"Nothing, i mean i am Ok, i meant wait...mmm i will decide, ok, le..t ,leemmi..arggg.. let me look for an M-pesa outlet to withdraw money i will come." I answered in a confused tone.
That was the last conversation between Mr. poor Vinnie and the little queen who wanted to milk my last coin in the pocket money account. i rushed helter skelter as my wobble legs could carry me to the hostel room (if you wrote good composition in primary school then you know what that means), disconnected my phone, changed my Facebook account and disoriented any possible communication with her.

HOWEVER i had forgotten one fundamental mistake that i made....
I had used my roommates phone to call her another day when my phone run out of credit. Oh Jesus, i had confused myself like the Hague ICC witnesses. She had befriended my roommate without my consent and they were chatting regularly.

My roommate was given a promise that he would be given a taste of the "cookie jar" if at all he allowed her to pay him a visit at the hostel. This was like music to his ears, banging on someone at the comfort your room is the best news you can receive other than the removal of MCAs from the Kenyan government. You remember that i gave you a snippet view of my roommate's appetite on ladies. Any slight knock on the door meant that i would look for a place to hibernate in higher speed than the FAIBA because " tafadhali mteja aliyopiga mlango haji kwangu."


They planned, a well developed framework of visiting the hostel to crush that juice out of the juke box. To walk on Melphis;;;; to have a taste of lemon on the ice tea, to look for a needle in the hay stack. Gosh poor vinnie i wish you knew the story ahead.

"Before i come, is your roommate around" the girl asked, "yea but atajipanga" the boy replied. Ok make sure ata kuwa coz i want to see him." The guy agreed promptly, who cares for the new millennium when promised a whole century.(I learnt about this conversation later after the Afrosinema had already happened)

SHE WANTS TO REVENGE GUYS...

yes that what she wants and i am in the dark. She wants to humiliate, embarrass, and spit on my reputable image that can be printed on his excellency's UK's portrait.

It was around 4.00pm on a Saturday evening . I had already changed, and basked on the peripheral of the basket ball pitch sipping hot coffee cunningly. The pitch faced the gate and you could see any entrant and exit from the hostel. As you usual, i was observing guys bring in girlfriends and others walking theirs out; for me, God knows when i will enjoy such a privilege "cjafanikiwa bado."

Suddenly, my moods changed, i was exasperated with the mirage i had seen. "All in all this cannot be, i confronted myself, but no this is real, she looks familiar, we have met, yea that face, actually i know her." That what went through my mind as she approached, but what was she doing here with my roommate. This was sabotage, highest class of image tarnishing. Within a flash of a second, i had already woken up and hid my face with the cup i was holding and preparing to leave like a certain Mluya friend of mine when he recies a call notifying him that "kaukali kameiva."

Then she scolded at me loudly i think her mouth is made of "beats by Dre".


"Wewe fresha vinnie, vinniewatz murimi (my both names), fresha unado BA simama hapo unahepa wapi, jinga hii ata una aibu." By now everyone knew that she was referring to me, everybody thought i was the courageous guy who will respond with gusto and wash off this shame. Others thought she was joking since everyone referred to me as a joker, "kierere". BUT I am sorry guys i failed you, let me apologize right now, because at that moment i was singing to Willy Paul's one and olny lyrics to all his songs, "Najitia kitanzi, najitia kitanzi", but there was no rope in the vicinity to "enter me kitanzi".

By now the attention had switched to us, and a small crowd was gathering to witness this free cinema.
'wewe ndio naongolesha, what a guy are you, unapeleka mtu date then unahepa kama hujalipa, ulidhani umeenda mbinguni hutai patikana." "i want my money right now nipe na ulipe ile embarrassment ulinipa. you silly brat son of a bi*** . By now she was getting angry and knocking me with her handbag and other boys joining her to "discipline me"."huyu msichana si wa mama yako," another Adan Duale shouted from the crowd. "Mlipe sa hii na kama si sasa, ni sasa hivi." By the way men we are becoming childish and stupid. we are ready to help a lady without understandig the root cause of the scuffle, in a club, on the road, in the supermaket we are ready to pave a way for a woman without questions and knock fellow men out of the way. This is rdidiculous and i cannot do that over my dead body!!!!!! Man up guys, where is the era when a man coughed and women hid under the able. I MISS THAT DEARLY

ANYWAY, the embarrassment was escalating quickly as everybody demanded i explain to that "beautiful lady" why i wronged her. (another secret ladies, men only say your beautiful if they need a favor from you).  I was forced to stand in between a crowd of rowdy, huge guys that demanded i pay back the "poor girl. I had no money at that moment, my only remnant was fare to take me to the foot of Mt. Kenya the E-city and you know how transport escalates during holidays.

I JOINED POLITICS BECAUSE.....

one of the student union aspirants came to the scenario and saw my tribulations. He immediately called the "meeting into order", it was so un-orderly like the MCAs in their assembly. "Why watch  one of the comrade  being stripped in your presence, where is the comradeship that we uphold, how do you expect this freshas to respect you when you sit and watch them being mistreated," he blurted with this vigor of a true leader. He spoke a lot of sense though i deeply knew he was creating a reputation to garner him votes. He branded that "revenge girl" a stranger who had trespassed and threatened to call the school security if she failed to leave immediately. It was now her turn to run helter skelter as i sang "who is laughing now, exponential potential, walitudharau, haha haha haha, who is laughing now." From that day i pledged my vote, loyalty, sycophancy like Duale and Kajwang to this comrade who saved my poor life...

SONKO "sanctions" his daughter

Its one thing to be rich, and another to flaunt your wealth. However, flaunt the wealth that you legally own and have sweated for.

This statement can be well be depicted with the story behind "KEEPING UP WITH THE SONKOSHIANS" or the drama revolving between the Nairobi senator and his daughter. If you have not heard these gossip, the original narrator, AKA the chronicles continues or Vinniewatz will break the information down for you precisely.

Apparently, Saumu, sonko's daughter appeared on a local TV station despising socialites for their cheap publication. The senator's accused Kenyan alleged socialites to be tarnishing the real meaning of the word that refers to people from stable families. They say money can buy anything other than salvation.


Pride comes before a fall; Senator Sonko reiterated by grounding her daughter. He took the keys to the Mercedes Benz and cut her weekly allowance of 60,000 ksh. ouch, a person earns 60 geez for sitting her ass down and looking pretty. Mind you, this person is not paying bills, but Sonko was wise to say that he earned his money through sweaty means; hence, her daughter should not take advantage of the situation.


Pray your dad becomes a senator....

I am wrecked, broken and shaken
I am stressed, weaken and beaten
I am tossed, worn and torn
Made an outcast, i am now a heathen
I am now a reject,my esteem is now hidden
I am wrecked, broken and shaken

handles placed on my way
challenges on my way
people going astray
forcing me away
I am wrecked, broken and shaken

And now i rise up
with this desire
that will sire
much fire
in this empire
and no retire
i am wrecked, broken and shaken

I might be broken, but am not limping
i might be an outcast, but am not leaving
i might be a reject, but not a black-sheep
getting back on my knees, ready to move on

BEING TALKATIVE IS NORMAL

CHRONICLES CONTINUES...

Being talkative is human nature….

Introvert versus extrovert

“kierere” is a informal Swahili word that is used to refer to outgoing and socially imparted people in Kenya. The term is kind archaic and it does not ogre well with some people because they feel it is insulting and disrespectful. There are numerous proverbs and sayings that kill the morale of being a social, outgoing, and gregarious person and they include silence is more eloquent, speak only when it is necessary, you have two ears and one mouth so that you can listen twice and talk once, and still water run deep just to mention a few.

All this is CRAP!!!!!!! And I repeat that is a lot of bull s#^t, disputing how people were born and their constitutional, biological, biblical, social, communal and legal rights of speech is very wrong.

Now all the “kiereres” you can start clapping because I have decided to be your savior, activist, humanitarian, and free state lawyer to speak out your inflictions on your behalf. People always paint us as reckless people, who utter meaningless things and unorganized fellows. As the chairperson of “viereeres” we want to give you “HATERS” a perfect name to refer to us, EXTROVERTS. According to the biggest library under the sun (Wikipedia), extroverts are people with the social tendency of predominantly being concerned with getting gratification outside the self-person. Extroverts enjoy human interaction through being talkative, enthusiastic, assertive, aggressive, and by being energized when around other people. They find comfort around people, we like talking about ourselves to others, we love sharing knowledge and we are more prone to boredom when we are alone. We love being with friends, we do not hide feelings; hence, we are not hypocrites or those fake friends, frenemys.

Due to these facts, many people misjudge us, they talk ill about us in our absence, they point fingers at us when we pass by and we feel infuriated by these gestures. Ladies think we are womanizers because we have the courage to approach everyone; hence, they feel insecure being in our company. Teachers label us as failures who have lost direction and that we always talk trash. I remember going through hell in high school just because I joined Drama club because teachers felt we were failures.

On the other hand, we appreciate introverts, people who enjoy being alone and meditating on their own; people who love tranquility and suave-ambiance environment by themselves. When we poke or joke around you, kindly understand and move on with life. However, we also love this state at some point. Extroverts are not always talking, we need time to read, meditate, be emotional just like everyone, reflect about life, and concentrate on something. I get furious when people always ask me whether am sick any time they find me quiet. The same people, who complain that I am talkative, complain when I am quiet. Extroverts also need silence, they need a moment to pray, and practice yoga among other silence-oriented activities. It is an unfair world, but it is not kind to point fingers before understanding what life entails.

Extroverts make the best characters in the arts industry. We make the best Mcees, actors, rappers, players, best managers, marketers, and family people among many careers. We can adjust to any environment within a microsecond, we are slow to anger, and we do not suffer from psychological pressures and mental imbalance easily. Kierere is a way of life just like any other personality of life entails.

Kindly note; there is another dimension of human personality known as ambiversion. It incorporates both being an extrovert, introvert, and I strongly believe we are all ambiverts it only matters with the degree or the extent. Everyone can be both talkative and quiet but you cannot take one side permanently.  Next time you use those useless proverbs, kindly spare us dirty comments we are forever #teamviereere.

WHY MEN CHEAT "their women with beer"

1000 reasons why beer is better than women...

People say that men live for only three things; money, power and mmm aaa eee and beer. Yes beer and not women; although nowadays Wi-Fi has been included in the list. My dear skirts and trousers wearers allow me to unearth the secret why beer is better than women.

Njoki chege became a celebrity overnight for writing an article about “why men cheat.” Kindly my esteemed readers’ can you make me a celeb after exposing “why men cheat their women with alcohol.”

Chris Brown sang, “These girls aren’t loyal,” for real they are not. They make us endure hell on earth with their masquerading and camouflaged behaviors. I am a living witness, during my years as a campus “fresha”, here comes again the chronicles of a fresha, yea I was in “love” (Oh my God that was not love but using the word love in vain). A woman is yours the moment she is in your vicinity and that is not always the case because she can be chatting with another nigga in your presence. You just wonder how you are talking to a person for two minutes and she replies by a nod without even facing you.

My fresha’s year was full of frustration and I think most of you men go through these issues intrinsically. My purported girlfriend cited love words when we were together, she cuddled on my chest and caressed me publicly. As a result, I fell in love, oops sorry, in infatuation to an extend of bashing away other girls even from sitting close to me to avoid “cheating.” This lady controlled my life, she had to know where I am, with who, doing what, and when I will be back using which matatu. She dictated our chats, if I never replied to her text for two minutes that was a crime equated to poaching or even paying the Anglo-leasing scum. However, if she did not reply mine for even two days, I was not supposed to query or raise an alarm. To add insult to injuries, she kept visiting her cousin who lived in coast, but because I was in love, I never questioned. Later I learnt that she got married there… oops L L.

Am pretty sure a hoard of men experience this bumpy road of relationship though they try to mask their tribulations. You will see a man reluctant to go home after work because he knows the wife is Adolf Hitler. You will buy a whole kilogram of meat and in your plate, you will only be served with a number of bones, mayne you aren’t a dog! Men will burst out loudly in public places such as hotels, matatus, and even clubs and you might think they roar in their houses. Oh, unto you when you discover they are lip sealed in front of their better halves. We are tied in ropes that loosening them is quite impossible. Men if you know this is you please listen to me and do it keenly. We need a dialogue with alcohol; we need a national holiday for celebrating beer and giving back to the society because of the solace beer has offered us.

Ladies and gentlemen, here comes 1000 reasons why beer is better than women…

#1. Beer is never JEALOUS. You can take pilsner today, tusker tomorrow, try Jameson shot on a wedding day and mix with rum and beer will never complain “ati umeniplay.”

#2. Beer is always available, yes always at the counter. Women, gosh, tomorrow am going to salon, Monday shopping, Tuesday I will be sick, Wednesday I will be menstruating…psssh

#3. Beer has a price tag; therefore, you can plan on what to take for a month. On the contrary, women are like oil prices, they keep on fluctuating. Today out, tomorrow shopping, the next days a new weave; guys alcohol prices are manageable compared to women. 

#4. Beer never hides its feelings. Wow, I love this part, women will pretend never to have feelings for you but they have. Beer is very straight, if it is not cool with you, you have to puk it out, period. “kama haikutaki hues make.”

#5. Beer never plays hard to get, if you want a beer, ask your wallet and no more innuendos.

#6. Beer never uses make-ups or skin lightening; it is so natural that you know you are dealing with an original thing. Women, gosh, the person you take to lunch date is completely different from the one you will see after a swimming event. Fake face made up with pencils and crayons, horse’s hair, pigskin for handbags, one million piercing and so forth. 

#7. Beer never controls the remote. Yes, you will watch Nat-geo, Supersport and sci-fi movies comfortably while beer is offering you company. With women, be ready to watch soap operas and Niger movies and she expects you to be jovial discussing Alehandro with her, crap.

#8. Beer never FRIENDZONE the taker, friend zone is the worst man fear. It is a national disaster in the life of men. Beer never allows this to happen to a man, you order for it you have to drink it.

#9. Beer is never moody. I always wonder how women moods function. You can be happy with her for a while, but in the next minute, she has turned to be John Michuki (R.I.P), no nonsense. As for beer, any time is the happy hour.

#10. Beer has no parent-in-laws. Gosh if there something men fear, it is the girl’s parents. They irritate, they judge us for gangster, and they think that they gave us their girls free. Damn, we can do with alcohol alone.

#11. Beer does not contract unwanted pregnancies. You know the traps that every girl sets to her guy. “aki babe niko na boll”, beer simply replies “ipeleke kasarani ama brazil.”

The other 9089 reasons are coming soon. Keep it chronicles of a “fresha” at vinniewatz.blogspot.com