EXAM LEAKAGE, the "AMERUCAN WAY"
As you all know, Nkirote and I decided to tie the knot immediately after the K.C.S.E. results were released. I had to wait until the results were released for two major reasons. One, i had sworn never to marry a woman who attains below C+ (the minimum campus entry mark in Kenya); Secondly, the dates of releasing the exam results coincided with Nkirote's 18th birthday. No matter how much we loved each other, i had to wait for her to attain the majority age or else face problems with the authority, especially our chief. Since his Excellency Uhuru Kenyatta declared war on illicit brews, our chief has been bankrupt as his side hustle (taking bribe from chang'aa vendors) has faced a rock bottom; so breaking a law such as marrying a minor would cost you dearly in the slopes of Mt. Kenya.
Our love life with Nkiorte has been cruising perfectly well until yesterday when we watched NTV's story #INSIDE THE LEAKAGE. Nkirote concentrated too much on that story raising my suspicion. My main problem was that she kept on asking me to interpret each and every statement on the report. Two questions rung in my mind: why is she so concerned that she had to watch the story once more on You tube and if she really understands English for she kept on asking for my assistance. It did not take long to get the answers.
After marrying Nkirote, our small house was awash with visitors on daily basis. According to AMERUs customs, a young couple should receive guests, probably elder people, who will guide them on how to start life together. One day Nkirote prepared a meal and before partaking it, we had to pray. That is when i sensed danger. "Acheni tuombe" she declared. We all closed our eyes and since we had received guests from as far as from Nanyuki, it was right to conduct everything in a neutral language in order to serve each person well. "Mungu baba tunakuja mbele zako..." immedeatly after two lines of prayers in Swahili, she switched, supposedly spoke in tongues, Kimeru came in..."Murungu nitwakuromba uturekele....blah blah" Afterwards, she was told to give a vote of thanks after the visit, I swear i had to intervene before she messed up the whole ceremony. Imagine she cannot make a speech even in vernacular and she just completed school in November last year, lanes.
That did not raise an alarm as I thought its just a normal occurrence; however, what I witnessed yesterday proved that she is guilty as charged, dunderhead. First, Nkirote's EX is from WARGADUD high school where the crime is purported to have occurred. That raises the question, if the exam was tampered from that school, Nkirote should have been one of the main beneficiaries since she was the first lady to a guy who experienced the leakage first-hand. Secondly, in her mock exams she attained a very high mark of D+, how comes in K.C.S.E she managed to get a C+. Ladies and gentlemen if you really understand the AMERU's accent, for Nkirote its deep rooted. She starts every statement with "Keke" an Amerucan slogan just like the Luo's say "Yawa". She cannot utter a word without adding the AMERUCAN swag, if you really don't understand, listen to MC Jessy or Kawira from Papa Shirandula and your quest will be dealt with perfectly.
After the NTV expose, i decided to do my own research in the house. I decided to do an impromptu assessment test in the house, a R.A.T. Surprisingly, Nkirote doesn't know even the name of our governor, who doesn't know Peter Munya, even a breastfeeding infant knows how he walked away from Ruto's meeting. Another shocker was seeing the name Wargadud on the screen made her extremely happy until she forgot herself and started making a confession unknowingly. That is when i realized I married an exam cheat. If she had all the papers and only managed a C+ just guess what she could have acquired with her own brain. I suppose a better mark. Kenyans lets desist from this behavior of cheating in everything. We all stand accused of buying driving licenses, employment, exams,
fake twitter followers, even reporters buy stories which means i am not sure whether the NTV story was factual. All said and done, Nkirote must repeat or look for another husband, period.
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