Being a "Fresha" at Campus

Was i confused or was the system confusing...

Being a fresha is one of the most disgusting thing ever introduced to humanity, why lie. Straight from my home digs, AKA., "ocha" i was headed to Nairobi with no single clue of what the city looked like. But to tell you the truth, i had visited Nairobi before, but in the most uncomfortable, disgusting, and humiliating way ever. Do you remember in high school, yea that rural high school where guys from Nairobi bombarded you with stories of how the city looks like, how cool it is, beautiful ladies, jam session, pimped "mathree", and all that nonsense (actually Nairobi's life is not cool, they lied to us). This made my appetite to visit Nairobi city grow day by day. Therefore, anytime we went for a trip maybe to the national museum, orphanage, and even Uhuru Park (we thought it was kind of a national park) we tried to squeeze our faces out through the old high-school bus windows to get a snippet view of town as the "Nairobi guys" boasted how they knew all the routes we passed through (i was envious by then). That was my trip to town prior to coming here to seek "further education", which has not helped me up to today, but gave me unlimited expectations. Although it has helped me to learn how to work under pressure, you know how we could waste the whole semester and revise for exams within a day.

Anyway, back to the fresha story that i guarantee you that it is the most embarrassing moment i have experienced, you too, i know. Upon arrival to Nairobi, my mind cascaded and whirled like 3 dimension videos on the sci-fi movies as i contemplated the new wave of life outside my shags. OMG i have never seen such tall storey buildings in my life given that the tallest building in our village is some mud houses we constructed for "burning tobacco" (that a story for another day). I was perplexed to see a green, healthy, likely to bear fruits, tall, a tree with a shade, conspicuous (i forgot the order of adjectives so any can be placed anywhere, just forgive me for now) building, which is the Afya center. "How can a building be so green, this must be a tree," i thought to myself. I proceeded to the college environs, at least i could recall the directions that i was given back at home, but believe you me those were the worst ever directions to follow, if at all you know where you are going. Imagine somebody telling you, "after you alight the "matatu" at tea room (Our stage), you "climb" up via Accra road, and see, a yellow yellow building (which i learnt later it is called Kenya archives), after reaching the yellow yellow building, face in-front and see a building called KICC, at least i had seen it on our high school trips. The next instructions were, "walk towards KICC, and upon arrival face on your left, and head straight until you see a road called haile sellasie. By now you know where i was headed to, The Kenya Polytechnic University, but it is now Technical University of Kenya, thanks to his excellency Mwai Kibaki. Although the directions were awkward, i still arrived because they say the end justify the means.

At the gate, what i say my mouth  just opened wide automatically, skimply dressed ladies and guys wrapping the ladies waist like they wrap meat at the butchery. Since  i was told that is prostitution and indecency, i wished that this guys could realize themselves (not knowing it was a matter of days before i joined the wagon). Another wonder of the world, i had never seen an influx of such people using one terminal at the same time. People were coming and going out and caused a heavy traffic at the gate. My high school minded thoughts told me that it was lunch time, people had been released for lunch, but it was at 3 in the evening. I started getting worried, this people go for lunch this late, will i survive, why don't their time table be changed. Little did i know in campus you can walk in and out any time and there was no specific time-table to govern the whole institution. I staid outside the gate for one hour waiting for a bell to ring allowing people in, but to my amazement, it never rung. Now i am confused, should i go in or not, do they have a discipline master like in the high school who might get me wandering aimlessly and pour down his wrath on me. After a battle of wits, i decided to go in "roho juu", but i walked cautiously and viewed every person  as a very mature and well-behaved person (which i learnt later it is not true, they are just a bunch of hypocrites who can sterilize the whole city when they cause chaos). A gulf of fear bombarded me until i released a little fart closing my eyes bitterly so that nobody notices, yes it is good for self-confidence and releasing tension. "hi, please, kindly show me the administration office", i asked a stranger trying to be very courteous; however, he replied with this kind of jeer that i found to be disturbing "oooo wewe ni fresha, thats why huwezi ona admin iko apo nyuma yako". It was uncouth but to be sincere, how did i fail to notice that long Que that almost reached the gate, ufresha utaniua, and the huge placard reading new students should Que here. Judging with the length of that Que, even the proverb a long journey starts with a single step, could not convince me to join it. After a little consultation, i learnt that it was headed to the dean's office where rooms were being issued. Hell broke loose, i have nowhere else to sleep other than the school rooms so i had to join them of course i couldn't beat them. OMG this long Que, long-lasting paper works and the solar, i had to do something. I had staid there for two hours, it is nearing 6:30, the offices are being closed and i have no idea where else i can sleep. I had to think quick, and quick thinking i did. I had finished learning in a high school whose mantra was scramble for the fittest, especially when serving meals because we made such long, pressing, and disturbing cues. Based on this vast experience, i had to do something with an immediate effect.


A whirl of thoughts gushed into me and within a micro-second, i was chatting with the security man at the door. "Soldier mimi nilikua kwa line apa tu, but juu ya kizunguzungu nikakaa chini pale kando, ni ruhusu niingie ni vile mi hukuwa na asthma". i simply feigned a disease to get a gate pass to the dean's office. Yes my plan succeeded, but the dean was not the most friendly person you would wish to meet... (to be continued)