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Most of the "fresha's" actions are based on hearsay and not all rumors are necessary correct.
It was this chilly evening that my friends and I decided to unwind by reveling in the city night clubs. For sure the week was quite stuffy, making the body to feel too weak to undertake any further task. It was an examination week and if you had a chance to attend any Kenyan college (excluding the village polytechnics and institutes) you are aware of the hue and cry that surrounds the exam period. Therefore, a cocktail of tequila (Kibao Vodka) shots, ice cube (small pieces of lemon), rum (hot water), and a puff of sheesha (sportsman cigarette) would aid in relieving the moods. Kindly note that we only took the drinks shown in brackets, "hiyo ingine ni kujichocha".
We gathered in a group of around 6 confused freshas who had a mutual agenda, to get drunk, period. Since we had staid in Nairobi for a while, we confidently walked to the city center chests up high with the aim of partying hard. Yes, people can party by taking Kibao Vodka or even Napoleon, thank God blue-moon was not invented by then, it sucks. In a few moments, we were comfortably seated in our seats in that stuffed up, congested backstreet wine & spirit pub that carries more people than the Daadab refugee camp. There was hullabaloo in the room as my fellow confused "freshas" jeered with a lot of ecstasy expecting the night to be so stimulating. Actually, our Kibao-tequila-Famous-Grouse Vodka didn't disappoint because within half an hour we were dancing to every tune telling everyone in the club (oops, pub) how we are great university students who will become presidents, engineers, doctors et cetera after completing school; mind you, up to now i am still jobless (those were fresha's fantasy that died immediately after joining second year).
Eyes started clinging into one another, the focal view changed as objects appeared smaller than usual, the rate of stories and noise skyrocketed like Wajir's temperature. By the time we managed to take at least two 750ml bottles of liquor, or alcohol-meter was reading overflow (mututho was not yet born, i mean mututho the law not the bald individual). One brilliant-confused fresha came up with such an impeccable idea that we should switch clubs so that we may have more fun. Oh what a nice idea, i thought. This is the moment i was waiting for, to go to these downtown clubs with beautiful chicks, loud music, and quality fun.
Within a flash, we were strolling almost the whole town looking for a perfect joint; because we were dismissed from all the clubs we sort to enter due to feeble reasons such as one of the fresha is too drunk, lack of identity card or "kipande", useless utterances etc. This made us to walk almost around the whole town without success. I was already giving up the hustle when one of the clubs ushered us in to have the fun we were looking for. The bouncer frisked us and we all entered, but not until we parted with "rwabe" as in 200 shillings. Inside the club, there was no empty space; hence, we had to wait for people to visit the washrooms and snatch their chairs so that we could have places to seat. Due to the high alcohol content we had sipped earlier, just one bottle of beer was enough to cushion us for the rest of the night. (Although the waiters kept on checking our bottles regularly, but it did not help because we did not order for another one).
Music played, we stormed the dance-floor with all the traditional "ushago" dancing style that left other revelers perplexed. As the dancing climaxed, someone patted my shoulder. A composed fine girl BEGGED (yes she begged me) me for a dance and i obliged willingly. After, some exchange of moves and dancing styles we decided to seat down and know each other better. She was so intrigued in me and i had to man up and order her a drink at least to push the night. We conversed for a while (some of my friends were thrown out "juu ya kubleak" by now i did not care much about them) and we prolonged to partying till dawn. That is how i consumed my university fees that i have not cleared up to now.
When morning came, i begged her to accompany me to my one and only room A206, the slaughter house. To be sincere, i expected this lady to refuse, but she accepted without a second thought. "Is this a trap or a muhathara", i quarreled with my thoughts, but all in all we went straight to the hostels feeling quite exhausted. Due to the fatigue and failing to sleep the previous night, we went straight to the bed. As a man, nature calls enhe! ("rewind and come again Mr. selector") as i said, as a man these things are nature bound and you have to rise to the occasion and respond to the stimuli. Sleeping with a lady in the same bed is not taking a cup of tea. In the midst of our sleep i found my hands wandering all over her body, requesting to cross-examine her body temperature and check her obesity status. As i mentioned earlier, freshas acts on hearsay and rumors because i had heard that when you touch a girl she has to viciously denounced your behavior "yani akatae kabisa" until you force her the second to a zillion times. However, this girl of mine obliged amicably without any question. I have to admit that i was a virgin, and i expected her to refuse, now see what trouble i putted myself into. I did not know how this process unfolds and now i was in total mess of lighting up fire that i cannot extinguish, but as a man you have to survive.
One thing that rung in my mind immediately was protection, i don't want to impregnate her or get an STI, i consoled myself. But there was an option, oooo yeaa i remembered, a condom, yes a cd, but where was it to come from. Without seeking her consent, i sprung out of the bed and rushed to the chemist because "Nameless ana yake, je una yako" (if you remember this advert). Upon arrival, much trouble dawned on me. The place was crowded and i did not garner enough courage to ask for condoms. Any time the chemist attendant asked me, "customer unataka", i replied," malizia hawa kwanza." But after the other customers went and i was about to let the cat out of the bag, another customer appeared; hence, i changed my story "uko na dawa za malaria ama typhoid apa", i muttered. The chemist attendant smiled because she had already learnt that i was fearing to say something, that is when she boldly asked me whether i wanted to buy cds or condoms. Just imagine how i blushed, ate my nails, faced the opposite side, smiled shyly before giving a simple answer as yes i want condoms. Then she asked me what type and flavor that i was looking for, i switched to airplane mode like a mobile phone once again. Sincerely, i did not know the types or flavors other than the free-hospital condoms; so i was in total darkness and the chemist attendant had to intervene once again.
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She made the choice for me and now i was confident that i was going to attend to the unfinished business. I paid confidently and rushed back to the slaughter house, room 4206, to slaughter someone...
The chronicles of a fresha continues shortly
Part 2, on the way
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