as i walked in
my mind was so fresh
i met the dean
with an appealing breath
i was admitted in
my body was in a good health
my mind passionate
ready to eradicate
poverty in my village
its the first year
fresh in campus
my mind and books
are new parallel lines
reading is off the hook
oh! that lady is fine
in town, there is booze
and new blended wine
my body is growing thin
my mind is becoming stressed
i avoid the dean
with a foul breath
and bad health
its the last year
not fresh in campus
BAKE Tracker
Tuesday 30 September 2014
Friday 26 September 2014
"Chronicles of a fresha" SHE WANTS TO REVENGE GUYS.....
It has been long since i penned down the most intriguing column "Chronicles of Fresha" and here i am again....
bringing you part...part mmh, by the ways what part did we finish with 3, 4, or...part..argh!!! i cant remember. Never mind, just sit down and grab popcorns as you watch this thriller/action/drama movie in the theater of dreams (that is your mind).
Previously on chronicles of a fresha (with that sound of the prison break),,,
"Babe, what will you take?" she whispered.
"Nothing, i mean i am Ok, i meant wait...mmm i will decide, ok, le..t ,leemmi..arggg.. let me look for an M-pesa outlet to withdraw money i will come." I answered in a confused tone.
That was the last conversation between Mr. poor Vinnie and the little queen who wanted to milk my last coin in the pocket money account. i rushed helter skelter as my wobble legs could carry me to the hostel room (if you wrote good composition in primary school then you know what that means), disconnected my phone, changed my Facebook account and disoriented any possible communication with her.
HOWEVER i had forgotten one fundamental mistake that i made....
I had used my roommates phone to call her another day when my phone run out of credit. Oh Jesus, i had confused myself like the Hague ICC witnesses. She had befriended my roommate without my consent and they were chatting regularly.
My roommate was given a promise that he would be given a taste of the "cookie jar" if at all he allowed her to pay him a visit at the hostel. This was like music to his ears, banging on someone at the comfort your room is the best news you can receive other than the removal of MCAs from the Kenyan government. You remember that i gave you a snippet view of my roommate's appetite on ladies. Any slight knock on the door meant that i would look for a place to hibernate in higher speed than the FAIBA because " tafadhali mteja aliyopiga mlango haji kwangu."
They planned, a well developed framework of visiting the hostel to crush that juice out of the juke box. To walk on Melphis;;;; to have a taste of lemon on the ice tea, to look for a needle in the hay stack. Gosh poor vinnie i wish you knew the story ahead.
"Before i come, is your roommate around" the girl asked, "yea but atajipanga" the boy replied. Ok make sure ata kuwa coz i want to see him." The guy agreed promptly, who cares for the new millennium when promised a whole century.(I learnt about this conversation later after the Afrosinema had already happened)
SHE WANTS TO REVENGE GUYS...
yes that what she wants and i am in the dark. She wants to humiliate, embarrass, and spit on my reputable image that can be printed on his excellency's UK's portrait.
It was around 4.00pm on a Saturday evening . I had already changed, and basked on the peripheral of the basket ball pitch sipping hot coffee cunningly. The pitch faced the gate and you could see any entrant and exit from the hostel. As you usual, i was observing guys bring in girlfriends and others walking theirs out; for me, God knows when i will enjoy such a privilege "cjafanikiwa bado."
Suddenly, my moods changed, i was exasperated with the mirage i had seen. "All in all this cannot be, i confronted myself, but no this is real, she looks familiar, we have met, yea that face, actually i know her." That what went through my mind as she approached, but what was she doing here with my roommate. This was sabotage, highest class of image tarnishing. Within a flash of a second, i had already woken up and hid my face with the cup i was holding and preparing to leave like a certain Mluya friend of mine when he recies a call notifying him that "kaukali kameiva."
Then she scolded at me loudly i think her mouth is made of "beats by Dre".
"Wewe fresha vinnie, vinniewatz murimi (my both names), fresha unado BA simama hapo unahepa wapi, jinga hii ata una aibu." By now everyone knew that she was referring to me, everybody thought i was the courageous guy who will respond with gusto and wash off this shame. Others thought she was joking since everyone referred to me as a joker, "kierere". BUT I am sorry guys i failed you, let me apologize right now, because at that moment i was singing to Willy Paul's one and olny lyrics to all his songs, "Najitia kitanzi, najitia kitanzi", but there was no rope in the vicinity to "enter me kitanzi".
By now the attention had switched to us, and a small crowd was gathering to witness this free cinema.
'wewe ndio naongolesha, what a guy are you, unapeleka mtu date then unahepa kama hujalipa, ulidhani umeenda mbinguni hutai patikana." "i want my money right now nipe na ulipe ile embarrassment ulinipa. you silly brat son of a bi*** . By now she was getting angry and knocking me with her handbag and other boys joining her to "discipline me"."huyu msichana si wa mama yako," another Adan Duale shouted from the crowd. "Mlipe sa hii na kama si sasa, ni sasa hivi." By the way men we are becoming childish and stupid. we are ready to help a lady without understandig the root cause of the scuffle, in a club, on the road, in the supermaket we are ready to pave a way for a woman without questions and knock fellow men out of the way. This is rdidiculous and i cannot do that over my dead body!!!!!! Man up guys, where is the era when a man coughed and women hid under the able. I MISS THAT DEARLY
ANYWAY, the embarrassment was escalating quickly as everybody demanded i explain to that "beautiful lady" why i wronged her. (another secret ladies, men only say your beautiful if they need a favor from you). I was forced to stand in between a crowd of rowdy, huge guys that demanded i pay back the "poor girl. I had no money at that moment, my only remnant was fare to take me to the foot of Mt. Kenya the E-city and you know how transport escalates during holidays.
I JOINED POLITICS BECAUSE.....
one of the student union aspirants came to the scenario and saw my tribulations. He immediately called the "meeting into order", it was so un-orderly like the MCAs in their assembly. "Why watch one of the comrade being stripped in your presence, where is the comradeship that we uphold, how do you expect this freshas to respect you when you sit and watch them being mistreated," he blurted with this vigor of a true leader. He spoke a lot of sense though i deeply knew he was creating a reputation to garner him votes. He branded that "revenge girl" a stranger who had trespassed and threatened to call the school security if she failed to leave immediately. It was now her turn to run helter skelter as i sang "who is laughing now, exponential potential, walitudharau, haha haha haha, who is laughing now." From that day i pledged my vote, loyalty, sycophancy like Duale and Kajwang to this comrade who saved my poor life...
bringing you part...part mmh, by the ways what part did we finish with 3, 4, or...part..argh!!! i cant remember. Never mind, just sit down and grab popcorns as you watch this thriller/action/drama movie in the theater of dreams (that is your mind).
Previously on chronicles of a fresha (with that sound of the prison break),,,
"Babe, what will you take?" she whispered.
"Nothing, i mean i am Ok, i meant wait...mmm i will decide, ok, le..t ,leemmi..arggg.. let me look for an M-pesa outlet to withdraw money i will come." I answered in a confused tone.
That was the last conversation between Mr. poor Vinnie and the little queen who wanted to milk my last coin in the pocket money account. i rushed helter skelter as my wobble legs could carry me to the hostel room (if you wrote good composition in primary school then you know what that means), disconnected my phone, changed my Facebook account and disoriented any possible communication with her.
HOWEVER i had forgotten one fundamental mistake that i made....
I had used my roommates phone to call her another day when my phone run out of credit. Oh Jesus, i had confused myself like the Hague ICC witnesses. She had befriended my roommate without my consent and they were chatting regularly.
My roommate was given a promise that he would be given a taste of the "cookie jar" if at all he allowed her to pay him a visit at the hostel. This was like music to his ears, banging on someone at the comfort your room is the best news you can receive other than the removal of MCAs from the Kenyan government. You remember that i gave you a snippet view of my roommate's appetite on ladies. Any slight knock on the door meant that i would look for a place to hibernate in higher speed than the FAIBA because " tafadhali mteja aliyopiga mlango haji kwangu."
They planned, a well developed framework of visiting the hostel to crush that juice out of the juke box. To walk on Melphis;;;; to have a taste of lemon on the ice tea, to look for a needle in the hay stack. Gosh poor vinnie i wish you knew the story ahead.
"Before i come, is your roommate around" the girl asked, "yea but atajipanga" the boy replied. Ok make sure ata kuwa coz i want to see him." The guy agreed promptly, who cares for the new millennium when promised a whole century.(I learnt about this conversation later after the Afrosinema had already happened)
SHE WANTS TO REVENGE GUYS...
yes that what she wants and i am in the dark. She wants to humiliate, embarrass, and spit on my reputable image that can be printed on his excellency's UK's portrait.
It was around 4.00pm on a Saturday evening . I had already changed, and basked on the peripheral of the basket ball pitch sipping hot coffee cunningly. The pitch faced the gate and you could see any entrant and exit from the hostel. As you usual, i was observing guys bring in girlfriends and others walking theirs out; for me, God knows when i will enjoy such a privilege "cjafanikiwa bado."
Suddenly, my moods changed, i was exasperated with the mirage i had seen. "All in all this cannot be, i confronted myself, but no this is real, she looks familiar, we have met, yea that face, actually i know her." That what went through my mind as she approached, but what was she doing here with my roommate. This was sabotage, highest class of image tarnishing. Within a flash of a second, i had already woken up and hid my face with the cup i was holding and preparing to leave like a certain Mluya friend of mine when he recies a call notifying him that "kaukali kameiva."
Then she scolded at me loudly i think her mouth is made of "beats by Dre".
"Wewe fresha vinnie, vinniewatz murimi (my both names), fresha unado BA simama hapo unahepa wapi, jinga hii ata una aibu." By now everyone knew that she was referring to me, everybody thought i was the courageous guy who will respond with gusto and wash off this shame. Others thought she was joking since everyone referred to me as a joker, "kierere". BUT I am sorry guys i failed you, let me apologize right now, because at that moment i was singing to Willy Paul's one and olny lyrics to all his songs, "Najitia kitanzi, najitia kitanzi", but there was no rope in the vicinity to "enter me kitanzi".
By now the attention had switched to us, and a small crowd was gathering to witness this free cinema.
'wewe ndio naongolesha, what a guy are you, unapeleka mtu date then unahepa kama hujalipa, ulidhani umeenda mbinguni hutai patikana." "i want my money right now nipe na ulipe ile embarrassment ulinipa. you silly brat son of a bi*** . By now she was getting angry and knocking me with her handbag and other boys joining her to "discipline me"."huyu msichana si wa mama yako," another Adan Duale shouted from the crowd. "Mlipe sa hii na kama si sasa, ni sasa hivi." By the way men we are becoming childish and stupid. we are ready to help a lady without understandig the root cause of the scuffle, in a club, on the road, in the supermaket we are ready to pave a way for a woman without questions and knock fellow men out of the way. This is rdidiculous and i cannot do that over my dead body!!!!!! Man up guys, where is the era when a man coughed and women hid under the able. I MISS THAT DEARLY
ANYWAY, the embarrassment was escalating quickly as everybody demanded i explain to that "beautiful lady" why i wronged her. (another secret ladies, men only say your beautiful if they need a favor from you). I was forced to stand in between a crowd of rowdy, huge guys that demanded i pay back the "poor girl. I had no money at that moment, my only remnant was fare to take me to the foot of Mt. Kenya the E-city and you know how transport escalates during holidays.
I JOINED POLITICS BECAUSE.....
one of the student union aspirants came to the scenario and saw my tribulations. He immediately called the "meeting into order", it was so un-orderly like the MCAs in their assembly. "Why watch one of the comrade being stripped in your presence, where is the comradeship that we uphold, how do you expect this freshas to respect you when you sit and watch them being mistreated," he blurted with this vigor of a true leader. He spoke a lot of sense though i deeply knew he was creating a reputation to garner him votes. He branded that "revenge girl" a stranger who had trespassed and threatened to call the school security if she failed to leave immediately. It was now her turn to run helter skelter as i sang "who is laughing now, exponential potential, walitudharau, haha haha haha, who is laughing now." From that day i pledged my vote, loyalty, sycophancy like Duale and Kajwang to this comrade who saved my poor life...
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