I know i have kept you waiting for part two but finally, the palatable, inevitable, deluxe and most exciting blogger is back again. You can simply say, "another one from crater automobiles,,sorry another one from vinniewatz story telling dungeon."
...The cool breeze swarm in the air as we sat cool and calm waiting for the most outrageous thing to happen. You could see white smoke puff out of our mouths, like those people who live in icy regions breathing hard after each tick and tock of the clock. A train of thoughts whirled and twigged in the little brains in our big heads as we thought of a way out. The loud knocks of Oti forcing himself into other people rooms could not be ignored as his screeching voice irked the ears. I wonder why people with huge bodies have a faint voice which is not proportional to their body size. Anyway, Oti's voice spoiled the tranquil ambiance that was dominated by fear in us.
Jaymo had a suggestion, "why don't we jump over the window and leave the legal owners of the room to face Oti as they will not be victimized." Not only this idea was stupid, but also thoughtless. How can we jump from the third floor and the ground was cemented? Secondly, the room was so stuffed that even the blind could see that it accommodated more than two people. As always, i had a better idea to salvage the situation. Pray, pray and pray hard. Everyone laughed at my idea so i did not pray but whispered to God to save me the embarrassment that was about to happen.
Three...two..one...knock knock knock!!!! At last, our most awaited "guest" arrived and in style. His first statement was "Vinnie i know you were not awarded a room this semester, with a well labelled diagram, can you explain what you are doing in this room." My heart was pierced with two huge swords that matched the ones used to protect the king during the Roman Empire. A sharp, electrifying pain swished through my stomach affecting my gait posture before i could think of a response. The security officers resembled Men In Black as they all wore black suits that comprehended their toned black skin color. They resembled a vacated coal mining dungeon somewhere in Kitui. My two ears flipped from side to side trying to figure out what next. Before i could utter a word, the security guys were on my neck you could have thought i was in the EACC corruption report. Actually, we were told to step aside, not to allow investigation, but to...
... the next thing was being frog matched with all your belongings to the "Kamukunji Square" where we used to gather during campaigns and any other gatherings. Everyone basked on the hostel balconies to watch the parasites who have been squandering their resources without paying a single cent. Unfortunately, one of our classmates had "boxed" a fellow lady classmate. Imagine she witnessed all this happening and the way she was best known for rumor mongering. She did not have a mouth but a beak because she could not stomach any information but spread it to the other faster than diffusion. My world was now crumbling as i imagined how i will face my classmates on Monday. To add insults to injury, my die hard team Chelsea had lost to the Manchester....as in ManCity and you know how people are against champions. I imagined the kind of a week i will endure,,,
A man never crumbles to the ground but picks himself up and makes a move. I collected all my paper bags and hit the road facing east. East-land was my final destination and there life begun...
teren teren tereen if you need to know how we interacted with East-land life. Keep tuned to this station that does not require a digital set box to watch....
#Iamout
BAKE Tracker
Tuesday 31 March 2015
Wednesday 25 March 2015
EASTALANDS IS HOME, EAST WEST...The chronicles
Pirating in the hostels,,,chronicles of a fresha
Rooms in the hostel have always been an issue of contention almost in all the universities. Most people have endured this tantamount experience...
Most universities admit people on September; hence, they report on January for their second semester. I was not an exceptional, so during the December holiday i maneuvered all the streets and crossed all the villages preaching how people live in universities. Actually, i had a phrase copied from the famous musician Clifford Harris (T.I) : i have got spirit of a hustler and swagger of a college kid. How cool was that? i thought. I was a demigod who could not be shaken even by a dark horse wishes. My ego was too high to be comparative to any other living thing in the universe. I was the epitome, creme de la creme in the village just like Chiefs during the Moi era. Just because i had joined an institution of higher learning forgetting that Mwai Kibaki graduated in 1955 and he does not brag and the villagers have witnessed people attend university for almost a century and i was there bragging. I was very excited indeed that i forgot the circular had said we should go to the school website and book for the hostel rooms if at all you are interested.
After sobering up on 3rd of January since 19th December (its Christmas men, who cares), I remembered that we were supposed to book rooms. I rang my friend to confirm whether he had checked the website, you know college peer pressure. "Yangu nilibook around 15th December" he replied. Oh goodness, i had to rush to town just to find that the was no internet in the only cyber cafe that had been opened in the entire town, sorry market place (it does not qualify to be called a town). Internet was so new that we were charged 5 shillings a minute and we had to wait for the "network." I persevered all this and "phewks! I managed to log in at last. However, there was a clear message that read..Rooms fully booked.
Back to the university, i was still new in Nairobi and my financial stature could not allow me to get a room outside the institution. This is when you know hell is closer when everyone goes to his room to rest and you are just scratching your head thinking of where to keep your bag full of cassavas and mangoes.
Thanks heaven that my friend said he would accommodate me as i sort an alternative. You know the common lie people give, "just accommodate me for two weeks and i will have secured a room." Two weeks became a month and so forth. But there was a bigger problem, yes a big one in deed. I became a "nyuni" meaning bird, most of you call it pirate (that is a person who is staying in the hostel illegally).
If at all you managed to step a foot in any PUBLIC university hostels, you clearly know the size of the bed. Actually, it is not larger than the high school one, only that it is stronger so that people can bring their girlfriends. Just imagine two people on that bed. Just imagine please imagine bearing in mind these two people are of the same gender so they have to leave a space between them. Another problem is that i was not included in the school eating program. Eish, man without food "yawa" is like trying to censure the national assembly speaker or silencing Duale. That can never happen.
To ice it all, there is a hostel manager who checks how people live in there. This is the second most feared person in college after the exam. I wonder what qualifications they ask for when employing this guy. He is fearsome and can control anyone he wishes, secondly, he can make you be chased away from the institution with an immediate effect. Now you have a glimpse of why we were called "nyuni", it is because when you saw this person you had to fly away-hide. Our manager was called Oti and he usually narrated of how he played rugby and how he managed to fight seven people while closing his eyes. There were rumors that he had a black belt, cjui yellow belt and all that nonsense people say when they fear you.
During this time, nyunis were too much to match and contain the university resources. There were constant water shortages, electricity was going dim each evening, people had to wake up early to book bathrooms due to the long ques. That is when the university decided to do an impromptu check and catch the "nyunis". As usual, we would use trickery to source food from the kitchen and go with it to the rooms in order to avoid the manager. But this day, they decided to check early in the morning on a weekend as they knew everybody will be sound asleep nursing hangovers.
Oti gathered a hoard of security guys, all the lists of students accommodated in the hostel. One advantage that Oti had is that he knew almost everybody in the institution. He would tell people who have come only to visit and the pirates. On this Saturday morning, he ensured that the gate was closed and all entries guarded to avoid any escapees. We were in the room the six of us which was slotted for two people. The first room that Oti opened he managed to capture two of them and he confiscated their belongings. Fear flew through the entire hostel as everyone knew the day of beckoning had come.
After i peeped through the window, my heart started throbbing and panting profusely. I knew this was my day to quit education and cease bragging to people. I wondered whether they had cast a bad omen upon me to destroy my education due to jealousy (like the Nigerian movies do). Oti was coming and there was no way out...to be continued.
Rooms in the hostel have always been an issue of contention almost in all the universities. Most people have endured this tantamount experience...
Most universities admit people on September; hence, they report on January for their second semester. I was not an exceptional, so during the December holiday i maneuvered all the streets and crossed all the villages preaching how people live in universities. Actually, i had a phrase copied from the famous musician Clifford Harris (T.I) : i have got spirit of a hustler and swagger of a college kid. How cool was that? i thought. I was a demigod who could not be shaken even by a dark horse wishes. My ego was too high to be comparative to any other living thing in the universe. I was the epitome, creme de la creme in the village just like Chiefs during the Moi era. Just because i had joined an institution of higher learning forgetting that Mwai Kibaki graduated in 1955 and he does not brag and the villagers have witnessed people attend university for almost a century and i was there bragging. I was very excited indeed that i forgot the circular had said we should go to the school website and book for the hostel rooms if at all you are interested.
After sobering up on 3rd of January since 19th December (its Christmas men, who cares), I remembered that we were supposed to book rooms. I rang my friend to confirm whether he had checked the website, you know college peer pressure. "Yangu nilibook around 15th December" he replied. Oh goodness, i had to rush to town just to find that the was no internet in the only cyber cafe that had been opened in the entire town, sorry market place (it does not qualify to be called a town). Internet was so new that we were charged 5 shillings a minute and we had to wait for the "network." I persevered all this and "phewks! I managed to log in at last. However, there was a clear message that read..Rooms fully booked.
Back to the university, i was still new in Nairobi and my financial stature could not allow me to get a room outside the institution. This is when you know hell is closer when everyone goes to his room to rest and you are just scratching your head thinking of where to keep your bag full of cassavas and mangoes.
Thanks heaven that my friend said he would accommodate me as i sort an alternative. You know the common lie people give, "just accommodate me for two weeks and i will have secured a room." Two weeks became a month and so forth. But there was a bigger problem, yes a big one in deed. I became a "nyuni" meaning bird, most of you call it pirate (that is a person who is staying in the hostel illegally).
If at all you managed to step a foot in any PUBLIC university hostels, you clearly know the size of the bed. Actually, it is not larger than the high school one, only that it is stronger so that people can bring their girlfriends. Just imagine two people on that bed. Just imagine please imagine bearing in mind these two people are of the same gender so they have to leave a space between them. Another problem is that i was not included in the school eating program. Eish, man without food "yawa" is like trying to censure the national assembly speaker or silencing Duale. That can never happen.
To ice it all, there is a hostel manager who checks how people live in there. This is the second most feared person in college after the exam. I wonder what qualifications they ask for when employing this guy. He is fearsome and can control anyone he wishes, secondly, he can make you be chased away from the institution with an immediate effect. Now you have a glimpse of why we were called "nyuni", it is because when you saw this person you had to fly away-hide. Our manager was called Oti and he usually narrated of how he played rugby and how he managed to fight seven people while closing his eyes. There were rumors that he had a black belt, cjui yellow belt and all that nonsense people say when they fear you.
During this time, nyunis were too much to match and contain the university resources. There were constant water shortages, electricity was going dim each evening, people had to wake up early to book bathrooms due to the long ques. That is when the university decided to do an impromptu check and catch the "nyunis". As usual, we would use trickery to source food from the kitchen and go with it to the rooms in order to avoid the manager. But this day, they decided to check early in the morning on a weekend as they knew everybody will be sound asleep nursing hangovers.
Oti gathered a hoard of security guys, all the lists of students accommodated in the hostel. One advantage that Oti had is that he knew almost everybody in the institution. He would tell people who have come only to visit and the pirates. On this Saturday morning, he ensured that the gate was closed and all entries guarded to avoid any escapees. We were in the room the six of us which was slotted for two people. The first room that Oti opened he managed to capture two of them and he confiscated their belongings. Fear flew through the entire hostel as everyone knew the day of beckoning had come.
After i peeped through the window, my heart started throbbing and panting profusely. I knew this was my day to quit education and cease bragging to people. I wondered whether they had cast a bad omen upon me to destroy my education due to jealousy (like the Nigerian movies do). Oti was coming and there was no way out...to be continued.
Monday 23 March 2015
The Chronicles
5 Reasons for being a "Bad ass" in campus
5 Reasons for being a check out for
"Comrade power is the only stronger power than Kenya power and super power", my classmate once said. There is no contention that each student wishes a smooth ride in campus life, but nothing comes in easy. They say that it is nice to be important but it is more important to be nice; however, this rule is not always applicable in campus life. The following are some of the integral reasons for showing off your other biting side.
1. Earn respect
Campus is far much different from high school where by the virtue of being in form four, the entire school accorded you respect. No way !! this is a place of grown men where each has to identify his own space. Surprisingly, you could be a fourth year but the first year you call fresh completed high school seven years ago. it would be unfortunate if you remain the "Mnyonge" in campo. When you are comfortably watching a football match in the school hall, probably alone, another dude comes and switches the channel irregardless of your cries. Your roommate always brings his girlfriend,- clandy, candy, sandy, you name them- daily and you spend most of your academic days on exile; it is the high time to rough up big boy. Alternatively, you will become everyone's tissue paper to use you and dump you, even ladies will use you, don't be surprised but act and act now.
2. Survival tactics
" ooh!! I am broke, I did not take supper yester-night, my girlfriend booted me", jeez.. those are pretty issues raised by mommy's boys. yeah i said it you are one if you constantly find yourself hanging on to such conversations. Campus requires guys who can survive a week with ten shillings and nobody notices your tribulations. Show your manhood by being a rude boy, go to the cafeteria and take food on credit without giving a damn to the onlookers, after-all it is your stomach.
3. Win the "Dendai's"
No chick will want a guy whose the only count of his courage is recognized when picking a plate and a spoon to eat. What if when you visit the city pubs and some guys touches her inappropriately, bouncers rough you up, students from another campus wants to slice you? Are gonna stand there and watch her,,hmm you are not Rihanna. She needs security, a guy she can look up to when her emotions are down; not when she gives you her afflicting stories you both break down into tears. No way be a man, toughen up and be a bad-ass.
4. Safety purpose
Once when i was still studying and we had a gig at our school, some "externally hired boys" to offer security could beat anyone they felt like just because they have mass and authority. Unfortunately, i was caught up in this hue and cry where my friend was accused of stealing a phone and the boys wanted to beat the hell out of us until we produced the phone. Fear and exasperation formed coalition in my body but i didn't reveal it. when they were about to start, everybody stopped them simply because they termed me as a "mzito". A term used to refer to a man of the people who can do anything in revenge. there you go being a bad-ass saved my own "ass".
5, Dream guy
if you combine the above reasons, the resultant explanation is that you become the campus demigod. Everything will come your way and life will be viscous and smooth. However, exercise caution because every dog has its own day.
Am out.
"Comrade power is the only stronger power than Kenya power and super power", my classmate once said. There is no contention that each student wishes a smooth ride in campus life, but nothing comes in easy. They say that it is nice to be important but it is more important to be nice; however, this rule is not always applicable in campus life. The following are some of the integral reasons for showing off your other biting side.
1. Earn respect
Campus is far much different from high school where by the virtue of being in form four, the entire school accorded you respect. No way !! this is a place of grown men where each has to identify his own space. Surprisingly, you could be a fourth year but the first year you call fresh completed high school seven years ago. it would be unfortunate if you remain the "Mnyonge" in campo. When you are comfortably watching a football match in the school hall, probably alone, another dude comes and switches the channel irregardless of your cries. Your roommate always brings his girlfriend,- clandy, candy, sandy, you name them- daily and you spend most of your academic days on exile; it is the high time to rough up big boy. Alternatively, you will become everyone's tissue paper to use you and dump you, even ladies will use you, don't be surprised but act and act now.
2. Survival tactics
" ooh!! I am broke, I did not take supper yester-night, my girlfriend booted me", jeez.. those are pretty issues raised by mommy's boys. yeah i said it you are one if you constantly find yourself hanging on to such conversations. Campus requires guys who can survive a week with ten shillings and nobody notices your tribulations. Show your manhood by being a rude boy, go to the cafeteria and take food on credit without giving a damn to the onlookers, after-all it is your stomach.
3. Win the "Dendai's"
No chick will want a guy whose the only count of his courage is recognized when picking a plate and a spoon to eat. What if when you visit the city pubs and some guys touches her inappropriately, bouncers rough you up, students from another campus wants to slice you? Are gonna stand there and watch her,,hmm you are not Rihanna. She needs security, a guy she can look up to when her emotions are down; not when she gives you her afflicting stories you both break down into tears. No way be a man, toughen up and be a bad-ass.
4. Safety purpose
Once when i was still studying and we had a gig at our school, some "externally hired boys" to offer security could beat anyone they felt like just because they have mass and authority. Unfortunately, i was caught up in this hue and cry where my friend was accused of stealing a phone and the boys wanted to beat the hell out of us until we produced the phone. Fear and exasperation formed coalition in my body but i didn't reveal it. when they were about to start, everybody stopped them simply because they termed me as a "mzito". A term used to refer to a man of the people who can do anything in revenge. there you go being a bad-ass saved my own "ass".
5, Dream guy
if you combine the above reasons, the resultant explanation is that you become the campus demigod. Everything will come your way and life will be viscous and smooth. However, exercise caution because every dog has its own day.
Am out.
Wednesday 11 March 2015
NAKURU MCAs WRESTLING..The chronicles
For those who have analogue TVs I am very sure you do not know that Nakuru MCAs decided to host a WWE inside their assembly yesterday. All in all, these are not news because Nairobi, Garissa, Embu, Kiambu, Kakamega, Makueni have engaged in running battles just to mention a few. It has become a normal routine to square out our differences physically bearing in mind our national assembly has also done that. So Nakuru members of assembly felt they have not complied to their national duty of fighting over people's tax. SHAME ON YOU..but before i lament too much i have remembered that this issue once happened in my college years. The chronicles...
"Comrade power",,power!!! "Comrade power" power, " it has come to that moment that you must cast your vote wisely, you have to elect a leader who is self conscious and resonates with the comrade needs. We need a leader who will ensure the administration listens to our issues, we shall ensure that comrades stay in the institution comfortably." This was the speech that one of the candidates made. It was so nice and the guy was so promising, he was vying for the campus presidential position. He was everyone's darling, but he had not won my heart yet. "...And we shall ensure the school bursaries are disbursed to the needy persons in right time and quantity to avoid interference with their learning time." That was the statement that made my heart go #kookoo and feel mesmerized. To be sincere, my school fees arrears could buy a piece of land in westie (as in western, an entire sugarcane plantation). I devoted myself to campaign for that guy without expecting anything in return other than he adheres to his manifesto. You can never doubt my campaigning capabilities because the guy won with a landslide.
Jubilation overwhelmed the entire campus as our favorite candidate who looked composed and ready to take the bull on its horns (like Kiraitu Murungi) had won. The first thing was to compile a bursary committee that would ensure there is equity and no fraudulent activities occurred. The chairman had praised me for my support during the campaign time and he swore he would do anything as a return favor. He appointed me to the bursary committee, but due to my kindness i relinquished the seat to one of my classmates. After all, the chairman was my friend and i trusted my classmate. I immediately phoned my parents and told them to cast away their worries as i had gotten an alternative way of paying my school fees. Actually i started spending the little savings i had for my fees.
The committee met severally and the amount was released from the school accounts to the student union account. The notice board was filled with notices asking people to apply for the bursary as the money was available. For me, i did not need to apply but i decided to follow the protocol and apply. Within a week, the list of successful applicants was out and displayed in every notice board in school. Believe it or not, i could not imagine this, just imagine i was among the top 10 in the list and the next step was to meet with the committee.
Shock of all times is that the committee seemed not to be in an agreement during the meeting. They seemed tense when the names of those getting the money was being read out. Just imagine my name was read, then they said i should wait for a confirmation. That is when i saw my classmate pounce on the chairman. It was unbelievable to see the two sided committee fly a handle at each other. The threw hefty punches upon each other and we could not understand what was going on. It was so embarrassing, but there was one thing that my classmate kept on saying. Corruption, impunity, corruption!!! That is when i learnt that those people who qualified for the bursary had to pay the chairman a certain amount of money to be on the list. Bribery, corruption destroyed the party to be. I was in tears as i knew i could not manage to sit for the exams. It would be embarrassing to call my parents with the sad news.
Ooops!!! mum calling. I was tensed and frozen beyond zero degrees or campaign if you like. "Hello, i was just confirming that the CDF bursary has been awarded to you", mum said.
"Comrade power",,power!!! "Comrade power" power, " it has come to that moment that you must cast your vote wisely, you have to elect a leader who is self conscious and resonates with the comrade needs. We need a leader who will ensure the administration listens to our issues, we shall ensure that comrades stay in the institution comfortably." This was the speech that one of the candidates made. It was so nice and the guy was so promising, he was vying for the campus presidential position. He was everyone's darling, but he had not won my heart yet. "...And we shall ensure the school bursaries are disbursed to the needy persons in right time and quantity to avoid interference with their learning time." That was the statement that made my heart go #kookoo and feel mesmerized. To be sincere, my school fees arrears could buy a piece of land in westie (as in western, an entire sugarcane plantation). I devoted myself to campaign for that guy without expecting anything in return other than he adheres to his manifesto. You can never doubt my campaigning capabilities because the guy won with a landslide.
Jubilation overwhelmed the entire campus as our favorite candidate who looked composed and ready to take the bull on its horns (like Kiraitu Murungi) had won. The first thing was to compile a bursary committee that would ensure there is equity and no fraudulent activities occurred. The chairman had praised me for my support during the campaign time and he swore he would do anything as a return favor. He appointed me to the bursary committee, but due to my kindness i relinquished the seat to one of my classmates. After all, the chairman was my friend and i trusted my classmate. I immediately phoned my parents and told them to cast away their worries as i had gotten an alternative way of paying my school fees. Actually i started spending the little savings i had for my fees.
The committee met severally and the amount was released from the school accounts to the student union account. The notice board was filled with notices asking people to apply for the bursary as the money was available. For me, i did not need to apply but i decided to follow the protocol and apply. Within a week, the list of successful applicants was out and displayed in every notice board in school. Believe it or not, i could not imagine this, just imagine i was among the top 10 in the list and the next step was to meet with the committee.
Shock of all times is that the committee seemed not to be in an agreement during the meeting. They seemed tense when the names of those getting the money was being read out. Just imagine my name was read, then they said i should wait for a confirmation. That is when i saw my classmate pounce on the chairman. It was unbelievable to see the two sided committee fly a handle at each other. The threw hefty punches upon each other and we could not understand what was going on. It was so embarrassing, but there was one thing that my classmate kept on saying. Corruption, impunity, corruption!!! That is when i learnt that those people who qualified for the bursary had to pay the chairman a certain amount of money to be on the list. Bribery, corruption destroyed the party to be. I was in tears as i knew i could not manage to sit for the exams. It would be embarrassing to call my parents with the sad news.
Ooops!!! mum calling. I was tensed and frozen beyond zero degrees or campaign if you like. "Hello, i was just confirming that the CDF bursary has been awarded to you", mum said.
Monday 9 March 2015
BAR BRAWL WITH A CHICK,,,The chronicles of a fresha
THE CHRONICLES CONTINUES....
It was immediately the second semester after i joined the elite lot in the society to achieve academic excellence: in simple terms, i joined an university. You know campus students think they have touched the sky by just joining the institution. They fight everyone on the road, they do not pay for bus fare, and the most interesting part is that they refer themselves with titles such as engineer so and so or professor and yet your in your first year and you might fail in exam. Wait a minute, was it an university, college, polytechnic or an institute of education. It was referred to as the Kenya Polytechnic University College, I remember how we took pride on the article "The" prefixing the name of the campus. It was a symbol of greatness and we called other universities "A"; For example, A Kenyatta University or A Nairobi Aviation (please do not stone me like the nation media).
Anyway, instead of going circles, let me take you via the superhighway of the experience of my freshness in college. When we re-opened the institution, i was much prepared to enjoy the vastness of the public university not mentioning getting back to Nairobi. I was well equipped with few coins that could sustain me for a while i mean for sometime, two weeks to be precise. With all my freshness, i did not know that when the timetable said you report on 6th people always added two weeks and reported on 26th or even the following month. With my high school mind, i thought people were to report on the material day, failure to which you would get a suspension or punishment (i was a fresha, understand). Just imagine how empty the place was and i was there a lone just watching DSTV the entire day and gulping a killer drink each evening. I was so lonely that i started visiting even stripper clubs in town, but i had not had enough courage to enter, so i peeped from a corner.
One week later, Freshas started arriving. Oh my, at least i could see confused faces around, just like me few months earlier. Since i was the only old guard in the institution, they had to request for my assistance. Where is A or B, i was more than willing to help. As usual, unlike poles attract.. When one lady asked for my aid, we decided to take it to aids.Oops i preempted your thoughts.
In the evening we were so bored together and we decided to hang out around a joint in town. As a person who understands Nairobi to the core, i escorted my ponyoka na fresha girl to the joint. "Black ice" she said, "warm or cold" i asked. She said both, mmm crazy but never mind, fresha have wonders.
After taking the two "sweet beers", her reality started creeping in. She got intoxicated to an extent of saying she does not know me, she insulted anyone around us and started breaking glass and bottles from random tables. That is when the bouncers pounced on me like the green grasshopper. I wonder why men punish other men for their women mistakes. I was given two mighty slaps that made me visualize 50 cents on my face. The damage amounted to two thousand besides our bill of 1700. Seriously where would i get 3700 and i had only taken two beers, "zilikua zimeshashuka." Imagine i had to leave my phone, ID, and a phone number of another person close to me so that i could pay the bill the following day and redeem my collateral security. After my release, i shot like an arrow towards my room. just to see the lady hang out with a third year one week later... After that experience, another man was strolling the cookie jar whereas i came out with a beating
moral lesson, not all that glitters is gold..
It was immediately the second semester after i joined the elite lot in the society to achieve academic excellence: in simple terms, i joined an university. You know campus students think they have touched the sky by just joining the institution. They fight everyone on the road, they do not pay for bus fare, and the most interesting part is that they refer themselves with titles such as engineer so and so or professor and yet your in your first year and you might fail in exam. Wait a minute, was it an university, college, polytechnic or an institute of education. It was referred to as the Kenya Polytechnic University College, I remember how we took pride on the article "The" prefixing the name of the campus. It was a symbol of greatness and we called other universities "A"; For example, A Kenyatta University or A Nairobi Aviation (please do not stone me like the nation media).
Anyway, instead of going circles, let me take you via the superhighway of the experience of my freshness in college. When we re-opened the institution, i was much prepared to enjoy the vastness of the public university not mentioning getting back to Nairobi. I was well equipped with few coins that could sustain me for a while i mean for sometime, two weeks to be precise. With all my freshness, i did not know that when the timetable said you report on 6th people always added two weeks and reported on 26th or even the following month. With my high school mind, i thought people were to report on the material day, failure to which you would get a suspension or punishment (i was a fresha, understand). Just imagine how empty the place was and i was there a lone just watching DSTV the entire day and gulping a killer drink each evening. I was so lonely that i started visiting even stripper clubs in town, but i had not had enough courage to enter, so i peeped from a corner.
One week later, Freshas started arriving. Oh my, at least i could see confused faces around, just like me few months earlier. Since i was the only old guard in the institution, they had to request for my assistance. Where is A or B, i was more than willing to help. As usual, unlike poles attract.. When one lady asked for my aid, we decided to take it to aids.Oops i preempted your thoughts.
In the evening we were so bored together and we decided to hang out around a joint in town. As a person who understands Nairobi to the core, i escorted my ponyoka na fresha girl to the joint. "Black ice" she said, "warm or cold" i asked. She said both, mmm crazy but never mind, fresha have wonders.
After taking the two "sweet beers", her reality started creeping in. She got intoxicated to an extent of saying she does not know me, she insulted anyone around us and started breaking glass and bottles from random tables. That is when the bouncers pounced on me like the green grasshopper. I wonder why men punish other men for their women mistakes. I was given two mighty slaps that made me visualize 50 cents on my face. The damage amounted to two thousand besides our bill of 1700. Seriously where would i get 3700 and i had only taken two beers, "zilikua zimeshashuka." Imagine i had to leave my phone, ID, and a phone number of another person close to me so that i could pay the bill the following day and redeem my collateral security. After my release, i shot like an arrow towards my room. just to see the lady hang out with a third year one week later... After that experience, another man was strolling the cookie jar whereas i came out with a beating
moral lesson, not all that glitters is gold..
KCSE RESULTS 2015, THE CHRONICLES OF A FRESHA
KSCE, is it the end of the tunnel or just the beginning...
(Vinniewatz sends a text to confirm his KCSE results, waits waits waits the responds comes the next day)
One week ago, the nation was hit with the hullabaloo of former students celebrating their hearts out while others lamented and laid blames on a number of factors to one factor or the other. There are a lot of posts on Facebook telling those who "failed" to take heart that they will become entrepreneurs and employ those who passed. That is a lie, hard work never goes unrewarded. Those who worked hard deserve to be celebrated and those who allegedly failed should be embraced and encouraged.
...when the then minister of education Mr. Sam Ongeri replied to my text, it was too late that i had forgotten. I had already purchased a copy of newspaper to check whether my name had appeared, on the irregularities not top 100. My worry was getting an X or a Y anything above that was gladly welcome as results. When i received the message, i first fainted internally before my physical emotions propelled. My face frowned with disbelief and wrinkles could show all over my face. My lips became dehydrated and started remembering all the lectures teachers had given us calling us good for nothing. I sunk low like the titanic and eventually jumped up like dolphins after they had their intimate relationship act. I had attained the minimum grade of joining the university, that is all i wanted.
When i joined the university, i was perplexed to notice that we did not have national level, provincial, and currently county universities like the high schools. We were all accommodated in the same institution whether you are from mwisho wa lami school, tahidi high or even TPF academy. Whether you had an A or you came to bridge mathematics course. I was much confused to meet guys who i had never associated with us because they scored good grades in the same class doing the same course.
Never allow people blow your candle off, you know your potential but always work hard in everything. KCSE is just the starting point of a lengthy life which is an exam also. #iamout
(Vinniewatz sends a text to confirm his KCSE results, waits waits waits the responds comes the next day)
One week ago, the nation was hit with the hullabaloo of former students celebrating their hearts out while others lamented and laid blames on a number of factors to one factor or the other. There are a lot of posts on Facebook telling those who "failed" to take heart that they will become entrepreneurs and employ those who passed. That is a lie, hard work never goes unrewarded. Those who worked hard deserve to be celebrated and those who allegedly failed should be embraced and encouraged.
...when the then minister of education Mr. Sam Ongeri replied to my text, it was too late that i had forgotten. I had already purchased a copy of newspaper to check whether my name had appeared, on the irregularities not top 100. My worry was getting an X or a Y anything above that was gladly welcome as results. When i received the message, i first fainted internally before my physical emotions propelled. My face frowned with disbelief and wrinkles could show all over my face. My lips became dehydrated and started remembering all the lectures teachers had given us calling us good for nothing. I sunk low like the titanic and eventually jumped up like dolphins after they had their intimate relationship act. I had attained the minimum grade of joining the university, that is all i wanted.
When i joined the university, i was perplexed to notice that we did not have national level, provincial, and currently county universities like the high schools. We were all accommodated in the same institution whether you are from mwisho wa lami school, tahidi high or even TPF academy. Whether you had an A or you came to bridge mathematics course. I was much confused to meet guys who i had never associated with us because they scored good grades in the same class doing the same course.
Never allow people blow your candle off, you know your potential but always work hard in everything. KCSE is just the starting point of a lengthy life which is an exam also. #iamout
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