"Previously, on Vinniewatz chronicles" (you have to sound like a movie guy reading that part), I was telling you how I fed a cow then another ninja milked it all night as I witnessed everything. I say "God of the poor does not sleep" opportunity knocks once, but for me, its begging to knock again.
Yesterday, I was chilling with my "nguyz" kwa base. I like hanging out at the "Bushery" as in butchery with "wanyamazaji" the guyz who sell Nyama in order to fullfill what our president said; "Kuna wale wakukula nyama na wakumeza mate" your guess is right, mimi ni wa kukula, though kwa macho. I don't know why only ladies purchase meat, if you want to see guys, go to a Madondo Chafua kibanda. "As we were beating story for one another" (kuchapiana story), i heard someone shout my name in a voice that indicated highest level of desperation. "Vinnie, VINnnie, VINNIE" I slowly lifted my handsome face, pulled my chubby cheeks trying to "remove" dimples but all in vain. Anyhow, it was my new neighbor. Based on her panting and the way she shouted my name, I was surely in need, and they say a friend in need is a friend in deed (yani matendo ata hiyo mengine, arama ya dukuduku...).
Remember how last time she misused me, carrying her things and all that slavery, but all i could do "ni kumeza mate while another ninja ate meat all night. This time round I had sworn not to be taken for granted again, once beaten, twice shy. However, this time she looked serious based on the wrinkles she had on her face, more than my cucu's. "Vinnie, nimepoteza key yangu ya mlango, aki can i crush (ama ni crash) in your room, i know this is not a good idea, aki am in need, sorry i am disturbing... bla bla" "Easy girl" I interrupted sounding like Idris Elba, who said you are nagging me. I touched my chin twice and pulled up the color of my shirt, an indication of confidence. I think Versman could have used me for are an advert at that juncture. These were the best news ever, ati she is sorry, sorry for what, sorry my middle foot. Actually she should be sorry for not doing this all along she became my neighbor. Bang! sing along with me " I got a feeling*3, tonight wanna be a good night, ati tonight wanna be a good night..." Najua hapo pekee...
Without wasting time, I ordered for meat (actually it was a debt, the nguy was reluctant to give me the meat but after considering what i was going to bang tonight, he had to, roho safi). We passed via the movie shop, bought a very provoking movie. In my mind I thought by the middle of that movie, things would have gone down, the heat that would have been turnt up, only the oven knows. I hurriedly prepared the meal talking all the sweet things she could desire. I was a prince charming for a moment, telling her how the plot has been clean since she became our neighbor. I inserted the movie and sat with her ready to start the action.
Heeee, not that fast my guys. after supper, she said that she was not in the mood for watching a movie and because the following day was a working day, she had to sleep early. Now, I need a committee of inquiry to explain to me what i did wrong to the ancestors, hii kumeza mate na ushanunua nyama, aii its too much. I tried to sweet talk the lady to spend in my bed for two hours but she vehemently refuted saying that she knows those tricks. Ati she has a guy and just sleeping close to me is equivalent to cheating. Aki she refused and refused, and spent on the couch. Right now am waking up to see her "bootiful" self lying on the couch sound a sleep while i spent the whole night awake wishing that she would change her mind or I transform to a ghost like in Naija movies and do the thing without her noticing. #Teammafisi how do you pull these stunts off? I think i will sell the couch so that next time she has no other option but to spend with me, ama aje wakubwa?
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