The Chronicles today takes a twist as i outline some of the observations your favorite blogger has made over the leadership of his Excellency President Kenyatta II...
Mr. President i mean no insults but i do respect you so much; however, I wish my parents told me this when i was young...
#1. Please son, don't go to campus to study engineering, geo-spatial analysis, actuarial science, medicine, B.com and other scaring courses, just go to a drawing class and learn how to draw Mr. Uhuru Kenyatta and your life would never be the same again..
#2 Do not waste your time cramming lines for an entire play, a 40 pages script to go an compete on the always "unfair" Kenya National Drama Festivals, just write a 3 paragraph poem and recite it to Uhuru, and the State House could be my hang out joint
#3 Son, stop hanging around River Road and Mfangano streets, instead be hovering around State House Road and you might board the same Matatu and take a selfie with our beloved uhunye
#4 Another important thing to note, talk ill about the opposition vehemently, and you will become an M.P of your area without elections, "unopposed."
#4.5 Join NYS, and you could be appearing on the same advert with the most powerful person in 254
#5 Other than Mr. President's tales, this would help you son, Become a blogger, post nude pictures on your blog with such weird titles "The Most Ratchet photos from your fav socialite" or else write about how UK denied you a visa to see River Thames, and the UK ambassador will tweet you with an invitation to his suburb in Gigiri
#6 Without forgetting, my son become a miraculous pastor, perform miracles in exchange of "Mbegu" and you could drive a Range Rover worth 7 million
#7 Lastly, become a radio co-host without any academic qualification, talk nonsense the entire show and you will earn more than the other qualified radio host
Because my parents did not tell me this, I am just a spectator ion of other successful young men. Please Uhuru Kenyatta, take time to read the chronicles of a fresha and may be we can take a selfie together...
i am looking forward to...
still waiting...
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Yours Spectatingly,
Vinniewatz Murimi
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